


Walk Me Home

by agaycabbage



Series: Rewrite the Stars [4]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:34:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 27,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29679870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agaycabbage/pseuds/agaycabbage
Summary: The Alliance is waiting to imprison Shepard for treason and war crimes...but Shepard & Garrus have refused to put their lives on hold. Before she goes back to Earth and turns herself in, they're taking a huge step forward. Tons of the smut you've come to love and the fluff we all crave.This is the 4th installment in the Rewrite the Stars series - an interlude between Mass Effect 2 and 3 storylines. If you haven't read the first 3 parts of the series yet, you won't understand this. Not a standalone.Limited TW/CW for this one. Graphic Sex is really it.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Series: Rewrite the Stars [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538497
Comments: 24
Kudos: 33





	1. Leaving Home

**Author's Note:**

> AHHHH I'M SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO SHARE IN THE JOY I GOT TO WRITE FOR THIS WORK!!!

Packing up our quarters on the Normandy is...unpleasant, at best. I'm only taking enough for the two weeks I'll be on Palaven and then heading for Earth, but Garrus and I decide as well to pack up the things that we don't want to end up in impound with the Normandy. Mostly that means sex toys, but it's also personal items we've set around to make this place home and photos. 

It's moving out. I wasn't ready to move out of the ship yet. 

Monster gives me a sassy look when I move him off the pile of clothes I need to put in my bag. "Stop that. You're not allowed to be mad at me when we're leaving you." 

The kitten is going to stay on the ship, which will stay on the Citadel, while Garrus and I go to Palaven on a shuttle with his family. One of those luxury lines I've never been on, too. I'd be excited under different circumstances. And then when I take the Normandy back to Earth, Monster will come with. We don't know what will happen to him while I'm under arrest, we're hoping he can stay on the ship, but he won't survive on Palaven, so that's not an option. I feel like I'm abandoning the little guy, and it hurts my heart. 

I quit packing and scoop him up. He swats me halfheartedly for nuzzling his face and then immediately does it right back, purring when he tucks under my chin. "You were the best Christmas present I've ever had, you know that? We love you so much. I'm gonna come back to this ship and give you all the snuggles in the world, I promise." 

The doors open, and Garrus gives me a sad smile while he approaches. "Chakwas just got her orders and agreed to go. That makes all of them." 

All of them. The whole crew of the Normandy that was at one time Alliance and so technically forbidden from working with Cerberus - Ken, Gabby, Chakwas, and Joker - have been given orders to turn themselves in. Hackett said that they only have to go back and testify, that my fate will determine theirs and that they won't face punishments of their own. But that's only comforting if my punishment doesn't drag them down. Each of them has agreed to come in with me, though, and turn themselves in. They're loyal to me, and that means more to me right now than it ever has. 

I lean on Garrus and Monster leans toward him as well, gratefully accepting scratches under his chin. I accept the arm around my shoulders just as gratefully. "How are you holding up?" he asks softly. 

"I don't know. A little better now that we have an idea of what most of the crew is doing anyway." 

"Speaking of which. Miranda did leave." 

I nod. I expected that, and she gave me a heads up that after quitting Cerberus, she felt the need to leave and do it quickly. I offered her a place on my team, whenever that becomes a thing again, but she said that she needed to do things on her own. I get it. And even though she didn't say goodbye, it's still better than Zaeed who basically said fuck you and marched off the ship as soon as we docked on the Citadel. It's not like I would have offered him a place on my crew anyway, though. 

"Jack talk to you yet about what happens after the wedding?" I ask him. Jack, Tali, Joker, Kasumi, Chakwas, Ken, and Gabby are going to bring the Normandy to Palaven and be there for the wedding next week. After, I'll drop Tali, Jack, and Kasumi back off on the Citadel and then go to Earth with the rest. Tali is going back to the Migrant Fleet; she needs to prepare them for the Reapers and the changes in the Geth. Kasumi was a little more vague, but she's been taking care of herself for a while. They both promise to help the moment I need them and with whatever I need. 

Jack, however, took care of herself in an entirely different way. We've learned enough about her past to make me nauseous, and when we met her, she was in a maximum security prison. I don't want Jack out there on her own again, and I especially don't want her to feel alone or abandoned. I know it's weighing even heavier on Garrus; he considers himself responsible for her safety. 

"Not really," he answers with a heavy sigh. "She promised to at least talk to me about staying on Palaven but we both know it's not a great option. I don't know. But even if I need to chase her down across the galaxy and help her out, I'll do it." 

"And she knows that," I assure him. "That matters." 

He just makes a noise in his throat, avoiding anything that might turn into praise. "Grunt's shuttle leaves the day after we do, heading for Tuchanka. Wrex knows he's coming. Jacob said he has a contact coming to get him for his next assignment." 

I'm disappointed that Jacob is choosing to stay with Cerberus - 'for now' as he says - but something tells me it's a fear of turning himself in that drives it. Jacob has been with Cerberus for a long time, and the Alliance could definitely choose to charge him independently. I guess I get his motivations. 

"I'll touch base with Legion tomorrow, make sure he got where he needed to be." We couldn't very well bring a Geth with us back to the Citadel, so I gave him a shuttle to get to wherever he needed to go. The Alliance can replace the shuttle if they want; I wasn't going to abandon a member of my crew. "Samara isn't staying on the Citadel, but she didn't say how she was getting back to Asari space. I kind of want her to stay and scare C-Sec for awhile." 

Garrus laughs. "I've already gotten a couple calls and messages cursing me out for bringing a Justicar here." 

"Oh, good, let them blame you instead of me." Garrus pokes my side, making both of us laugh for just a second. Things are a little too heavy for laughing right now. "Mordin is staying. Something about research at the hospital. Thane is staying here, too. He said for Kelly and for Kolyat, and I hope he means it. He could probably use the medical care himself, too. Gardner should get out of the hospital soon, but I hope he doesn't go anywhere for awhile." 

"The doctors are saying Kelly will pull through?"

I nod. "She's still unconscious, but that's from blood loss and whatever the hell else they took out of her. She should wake up and be fine." 

"Good. That's everyone, then. Everyone will be okay." He squeezes me closer, nuzzling the top of my head. "Are you okay, baby?" 

I look up at him, blue eyes full of concern searching mine. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so down. This is an exciting time for us." 

"Stop," he breathes, pushing my hair back over my forehead. "This is...hard. And it's scary. You're allowed to feel those, and I don't want you to hide them from me." He takes my hand, playing with the ring, and I drop my head back to his chest. Monster has decided he's had enough of our attention, so he leaps off my lap and heads to his food. Garrus takes advantage of my now-empty lap to pull me onto his, and I waste no time curling against his chest. "I'm supposed to be packing." 

"You have time. I just need to hold you right now, okay?"  
I wrap my arms around his back and nuzzle my face against him. "That's always okay. I'm gonna need you to hold me a lot for the next couple weeks." 

"I think I can manage that." 

We sit there in blissful silence for a few minutes, just soaking in one another. I'm losing my home for now, but I'm never losing Garrus. We're going to be more dedicated to each other than ever. It'll be okay. 

I just have to convince myself of that. 

Both of our Omni-Tools ding at the same time, and I check the message we both got from Kasumi. It's a picture of the starboard hold, the crew, and a screen set up on the window. 

"Movie night with the crew?"

I look up at him and nod, managing a real smile. "Sounds perfect." 

*****

This is the last morning, for now, that Shepard and I will wake up on the Normandy together. We'll be leaving for Palaven today, and then she'll get back on the Normandy without me. We both hope that we'll get back here soon, that she'll come right back to Palaven and pick me up, but we have no answers. We have no plan. Nothing but hope. 

And considering we're talking about my bondmate being not only on a different planet but out of contact and under arrest, I'm clinging to hope pretty damn hard. Anderson called and says he doesn't think they'll put her in actual prison, but that doesn't make much of a difference for me. They're arresting Shepard for doing what she needed to do in order to save the galaxy. They're charging her with treason for saving the entire human species. I've lost all respect for the Alliance, but my respect for Shepard has grown even more. 

I'm not happy that she's going back. I wish she was willing to just tell the Alliance to go fuck itself and stay with me. But I respect the hell out of her for not being the kind of person who could do that. 

It means I have to figure out how to be without her, though. 

Shepard peeks one eye open, surprising me. I thought she was sound asleep, and since I didn't hear the change in her heart rate that would signal her waking up, I was really lost in thought. "Do you often stare at me while I sleep, you big blue creep?"

"No, usually I climb on top of you and grope you." Her smile makes my heart rate change. "And it's not my fault you're gorgeous." 

"I'm officially marrying you; you can stop sucking up." 

I laugh and tuck a curl behind her ear, tugging on her ear. "Not until after we're officially married. Then I can tell you what I really think about you." 

Shepard barks out a laugh, her eyes still closed and her expression completely peaceful. "I look forward to hearing your ode to my ass." 

"Oh, you know me so well." I sweep my arm down her back and under her ass, using the hold to tug her up against me further. Shepard doesn't resist, snuggling right in and tucking her leg over my waist. "Mmm you're so warm in the morning." 

"You're always perfectly warm. I'm gonna freeze without you in my bed." 

The little joke flips a switch on our mood. Suddenly, the reminder that I'll be going to bed without her soon comes down on me like the weight of the Normandy on my chest. I know Shepard feels it too because she shifts to wrap her arms around my neck, clinging, and I'm not ashamed to cling right back to her. I'm losing her. 

"How the fuck am I supposed to sleep without you?" I mutter into her shoulder. A humor-less laugh leaves me. "I used to hate sharing my bed. The only people I accommodated overnight before you were Solana and Nihlus." 

"And you let me spend the night in your bed the first night we met? Geez." 

My laugh this time is a little more genuine. "Yeah, well, we went to the point of exhaustion, if you recall." 

"Oh, I recall." We both get a smile out of it, a moment of peace. It doesn't last long enough for me. "What do you think Nihlus would say about us getting married?" 

Now that makes me smile. "He would be thrilled. He always really liked you; he was a friendly guy, but Nihlus was not easy to impress. And you impressed the hell out of him. Besides...Nihlus always just wanted me to be happy." 

"I liked him so much," she breathes. "It's weird to want him here so badly and to know that we - you and me - probably wouldn't be here if he'd survived." 

"Yeah, Nihlus dying really set up on this road. Who knows how long it would have taken before Saren was even suspected if he hadn't shot Nihlus?" I shake my head, memories of my best friend's life outweighing and overshadowing the memories of his death. "Spirits, the showoff. Even in death, he just had to be a hero." 

"We took down a Reaper and a Collector base, big guy. I think you've showed him up." 

"You're the only one who gets credit for that stuff," I laugh. 

She grins up at me. "They know who the real hero is, is what you're saying." 

"I knew I should have shut you up first thing this morning," I growl, rolling on top of her and pinning her under me. Shepard giggles fantastically and wiggles like she wants me to believe she's trying to escape even while we both know that she's just trying to turn me on. And she's excellent at it. 

I make no attempt at resisting her or hiding what she does to me, and Shepard expertly takes advantage. By the time I get inside her, she's got me panting and aching and ready to erupt - which she then makes me do twice. My girl cums magnificently for me and only after she's got me sated. I'm a big fan of her mood this morning, and I happily pull her into my arms after we're spent.

Lucky for us, I planned for sex this morning - okay, maybe I prayed for it - so I have a few minutes to bask in the afterglow. But I still have news to share with her, and Shepard won't be happy if I surprise her last minute. 

"Mordin asked to see us before he leaves the ship this morning. We have time for a shower." I trail my talons up and down her spine, enjoying the curve of her body and the way her skin gives under my fingers. "My mom is leaving the hospital in two hours, and we're supposed to meet with them on Zakera Ward for supply shopping before we leave." 

"So...we have to get out of bed?"

"We have another couple minutes...but yeah, we have to get out of bed." 

Shepard takes a breath and lets it out slowly, the sound shaky at the end. I know she's thinking the same as I am. Our days sharing a bed are limited, and we don't know when we'll get back to it. I want every moment that I have. Shepard in the shower is probably the only thing that could convince me to get up today, even if I'm a little less happy about it than usual. 

We take as much time as we can, not taking a moment for granted today. Since we're going to eat with my family, and since the ship is mostly empty, we head right for Mordin in the Tech Room. "Good morning, Mordin," Shepard calls when we walk in, holding a cup of coffee in the hand that's not in mine. I'm doing the same with my free hand. 

"Ah, good. One moment." Mordin moves to the comm control in his room. "Doctor? Join us?"

Shepard frowns up at me while Dr. Chakwas confirms, but I have no answers, and Mordin doesn't explain. He's silent until Dr. Chakwas arrives. And then he heads for the cooler where he's holding the serum that he made for us. 

The serum that could give us a baby. 

My heart starts thumping, and I can hear Shepard's doing the same. Even if I couldn't, Shepard grips my hand hard and makes it clear to me that she recognizes the cooler for the same reason. 

"You're going to be out of work for a bit, Shepard," Dr. Chakwas notes. "We don't know how long, but Mordin had the idea that this might be a good time to start your...treatment." She's smiling by the end of it, and I can barely breathe. 

"Simulations run. Best case? Four years to pregnancy. Could get..." Mordin looks at Chakwas, searching for the term. 

"Jump start," she offers. 

He nods. "Yes. Plenty of time." 

Pregnancy. Spirits.

"So, um..." Shepard clears her throat and puts her coffee cup down on one of the tables. Her hand is shaking. "What's the process? What, uh...what does this mean if we decide to start?"

"Based on what I know of the serum," Chakwas says, sitting down and folding her hands, the way that she does when she's explaining our injuries usually, "you might experience some side effects from the injections at first. I would anticipate something flu-like - nausea, maybe some muscle and joint pain. It shouldn't be too bad, you just might feel less than ideal. You will also start getting your period again." 

"Yes, menstruation necessary," Mordin chimes in. He then blanches a little and looks down. "Should use...protection...if copulating with...others." 

"Wow, thanks, Mordin." I offer a smile so that he knows I'm teasing, and Shepard laughs as well. 

"Yeah, that's not a concern," she assures them. 

"I don't love the idea of you potentially being sick from these injections in prison or wherever they end up putting you," I tell Shepard honestly. "Especially if you're alone." 

She frowns a little and shrugs. "Yeah, but if I wait until a time when we're together, I'll probably be back in service. And I don't want to be sick then." 

"Right. And waiting until you're not in service again..." 

"Exactly. I don't know if I want to wait that long to get started if the best scenario is four years to pregnancy." 

I can't help my smile. "You want to have a baby as soon as possible, don't you?"

"As soon as the Reapers are gone, if I could," she answers, matching my smile. "Are you okay with having a baby in four years? Best case scenario," she adds before Mordin can interject with a warning. 

Am I okay with it? I know something of how having a baby changes your life. I watched both my brothers and their wives do it, I've watched friends do it. Everything changes. And I would take all the changes, all the sacrifices, to have a baby with Shepard. 

"Yeah," I answer, forced to clear my throat when my emotions are a little too obvious in the word for my liking. "Yeah, I'm okay with that." 

Shepard beams at me, her entire face lighting up, and I can't fight the need to kiss her. I keep it brief to be polite, but it's enough that she knows I'm right here with her. This is huge even if it is in the form of small vials and microscopic proteins. Chakwas and Mordin are both smiling when we turn back, but the professor pulls himself together quickly to set Shepard up with a cooler and the vials that he has. Chakwas promises a medical order in her file so that the Alliance will be forced to make sure she stays supplied with them for however long she's on Earth. 

This is real; this is it. When Shepard takes that first injection, we'll be taking the first step to having a family. 

"You know that we have to warn you both not to get ahead of yourselves," Chakwas says gently. "The projections are useful, and Mordin's science is outstanding, but there is every possibility that this will never happen." 

"More than possibility. Likely." Mordin shakes his head before my heart can start to sink at that. "But never try, never know what's possible." 

Shepard looks up at me again, and I match her smile. They're right, of course, and we know that. This is a long shot; there's a reason nothing like this has been done before. And getting pregnant would only be the first hurdle. But it's worth a shot - we are worth a shot. Even if it doesn't work, if it never works, we know we made the effort, and we'll have a family another way. 

"What do you think, big guy? We doing this?" 

I scoop her into my arms and kiss her soundly. With my forehead against hers, I breathe, "Yeah, kid. We're doing this." 

*****

Garrus and I both leave the Normandy with our heads spinning. There was a lot more information than I expected to take in, including a whole lesson on how the science behind this works from Mordin who absolutely insisted we know. I wonder if he realizes that I took in exactly none of it, and I'm not sure how much Garrus was able to retain, but the glazed look in his eye was not promising. 

What we do know is that I have to take the injections daily, and one vial should last me about a month. My period could take anywhere from a week to months to come back - which might be the part I'm looking forward to least. It's been a long time since I had to manage that particular inconvenience. We know the shots might make me feel like crap for the first few weeks, and we don't know if there will be any long-term side effects, but Mordin doesn't anticipate anything other than an ability to accept dextro blood infusions and - hopefully - pregnancy. I'm pretty glad I didn't blurt out my question about whether I would turn Turian in some way before thinking it over and biting my tongue. 

I'm getting arrested, court martialed, married, and planning baby making all at once. And that's not even considering the Reaper invasion barreling toward us that I'm being taken out of the game for. And a few months ago, I was dead. 

"What the hell has my life become?" I laugh aloud. 

Garrus gives me a look, and when I run down the wildness, he laughs as well. "Yeah, it's been a ride. The whole last three years for me, honestly." He shakes his head, looking down at his boots while we walk from the docks where the Normandy will stay. "I didn't imagine a single moment of this when we met. Well...okay, maybe the naughty ones." 

"Mmhmm I could see those ideas on your face immediately. And I liked it," I admit. 

"You made that pretty clear later that night," he teases, using the hold on my hand to tug me against him. I don't resist, wrapping my arms around his waist - both because I know it'll torture him and because I know it's a common signal for Turians when they're committed to someone. Garrus holds my shoulders, keeping me close as we walk. I'm glad we had our bags taken to the shuttle so we aren't trying to do this and carry them. "I gotta say...I really like imagining you pregnant, too. You're going to be very sexy. Even more than usual." 

I scoff at him. "Okay, I've seen pregnant Turians, so I know that you know how it works. I'll get fat, you realize that right?"

"You will not get fat, you'll get bigger as our baby gets bigger. And even if you got fat, why can't that be sexy?" He narrows his eyes at me. "I know you're only in this for my body, but I don't need you to look any specific way to be sexy." 

"Don't be a jerk and charming at the same time," I laugh, poking his waist for it. "Let's just hope you can get to find out whether or not I'm sexy when pregnant." 

"I have faith," he murmurs, pulling me closer. "You're kind of known for beating the odds, Shepard." 

He's got a point there. And I'm right there with him about being positive. There's no downside here that I can see; we might have a baby, and if we don't, we still have a great time trying and we can have a family another way. 

Garrus growls softly. "Alright, we have to stop talking about making babies while approaching my family and in public. It's getting me going, and I'm not in armor today." 

"I suppose it would be inappropriate to tease you then, huh? No fun for me." I give him a dramatic pout, and Garrus swoops down to meet my lips. "That's not going to help either of us remain calm." 

"Worth it." He nips my throat before straightening again and leading me toward Zakera Ward and the markets where we're supposed to meet his family. I assume we're picking his mom up at the hospital later...until we turn a corner and catch sight of her. Standing. Using just a cane. From what I know, this is huge, and Garrus's expression tells me that's something of an understatement. His step falters enough that I press a hand to his chest, scared that he's going to fall on his face. 

"Jesus, Garrus. You okay?" 

He shakes his head, watching her move into a store with Solana, and then looks down at me. "Solana called me crying because our mom was so sick a few weeks back. You remember?" I nod, swallowing hard. "You did this. You gave my family this, Shepard, and I don't care if you don't want to talk about it or have that acknowledged because fuck I love you so much." 

He pulls me right up off the ground, my feet dangling with his hands on my shoulders, and kisses me hard. I melt in his grip, hanging or not, and can't help but return it. I'm aware of where we are and how this must look, but it's hard to care when he's pouring so much gratitude into a kiss. 

"Thank you," he whispers against my mouth. "And that will not be the last time I say that." 

Garrus then plants me back on my feet and starts pulling me with him toward his family, like nothing just happened. Like my legs are a little shaky from a kiss like that. "Sheesh, Vakarian, who taught you how to kiss?" 

"Some sexy redhead I got into my bed with just a few drinks." That one earns him a boot to the spur on the back of his leg. Garrus stumbles but catches himself and laughs, yanking me into a headlock. "Keep it up, kid, you're gonna get spanked in my mother's house." 

"You wouldn't dare!" I protests, trying to scramble out of his hold. "Garrus!" 

"I would, and you know it." 

I swing an arm up to catch his fringe and tug sharply enough that he lets go to keep his balance. Of course, the moment after we part, we're both moving toward each other again. "I'm gonna need a promise you won't spank me in your mother's house," I inform him, wrapping my arms around his neck while he holds my hips. 

"I promise," he laughs. I narrow my eyes, and it only makes him laugh harder. "No, really, I promise. It would be too hard to keep you quiet."

"Oh, and you're such a silent lover, is that it?"

He grins and kisses me quickly. "I prefer strong and stoic, thank you." 

"Spirits, do you two ever keep your hands off each other?" Dex's voice makes me jump yet again, and I can tell he really enjoys that. I look over, lowering my arms but not stepping away from Garrus since he doesn't release me, to find Dex and Pia a few feet, both of them grinning. 

"Oh, come on, babe. Don't you remember when were like that?" Pia teases, running her hands along his waist in a hug that tells me they're still like that. 

Dex laughs. "Yeah, but then I got you pregnant seven times in fourteen years and you got mad." 

"Seven times, Jesus. I'd be mad too," I admit, leaning heavily against Garrus. His laugh rumbles through me, his hand rubbing my back like he can understand what I'm thinking. I'll take any pregnancies I can get. 

We finally approach and greet them, joining the others as well. I'm surprised to get a hug from everyone in the family, but I'm certainly not complaining. It's nice to feel welcome. The group was headed for lunch, so Garrus takes his mom's hand and starts to lead. He gives me a quick look, and I give him a smile with a nod so he knows it's more than okay. My chest feels warm when they start walking away. The warmth only grows when Solana bounces up to my side, threads her arm through mine, and drags me along with the family. 

"How are you doing?" she asks gently. "With everything going on...it's a lot." 

"Oh, it's a lot," I agree with a soft laugh. "I'm...managing. I'm really glad we're getting a chance to see you before and that Garrus is going home. I don't want him alone when I leave." 

Solana knows what happened on Omega, so I don't have to explain or mince words with her. She squeezes my arm. "But you will be alone." 

Her concern makes me warm in a not so good way. I'm still just getting used to people caring about me again the way a family does. 

"I'm just keeping my mind on believing that I won't be gone long. Really, we can't afford it. We need to keep getting ready." 

She scoffs. "I cannot believe the Alliance is doing this right now. They know you just stopped the Collectors from making a human Reaper from human DNA, right? Spirits. Are your leaders always this dense?"

"You have no idea. You know, a few years ago on Earth, there was a huge viral pandemic. Thousands of people died everyday in this one country everyday. Every other country figured out that isolation and wearing masks stopped the virus, but not this one. The leadership there decided that was too much of a restriction. It ended in a huge population culling, and that country took hundreds of years to recover. Millions of deaths because humans are dense." 

"Wow. And I thought the Reunification Wars were stupid." She gives me a look. "Don't tell my father I said that. Ever." 

I laugh and lean into her. "Just between us, I promise." 

I can joke about it, but I really am terrified about being out of the fight with the Reapers when we need to be preparing for them. We know they're coming; they almost got through the Alpha Relay at Aratoht. The only thing I can hang on to is that my team will be out in the galaxy preparing, and that's especially important with Garrus and Palaven. I wouldn't trust anyone else with such a huge task. 

And I get to marry him first. 

I have lunch sitting between Garrus and Solana. We attract some attention, one human with a group of Turians, but also because news about the Collector base is starting to trickle out and no one really knows what to think. But between the Vakarian siblings keeping the whole table laughing throughout the meal and Garrus touching me as often as he can - including a few quick kisses when he can steal them - I don't really care who is watching. 

"Shepard, do we need to do anything special for your diet while you're with us Palaven?" Cae asks. She doesn't make me feel like a burden about it, which I appreciate even if I don't need anything. 

"No, I have no sensitivities." Dex chokes on a laugh and earns a whack from his wife for it. Blushing, I push on, "I actually enjoy a lot of the foods I've tried from Palaven. Or at least the Citadel and ship versions of them." 

"She's an excellent cook, too." For a moment, I'm confused and frown up at Garrus. And then I remember the week that I moved in with him on the Citadel, more than two years ago now. I cooked for us every night and most mornings after learning that Garrus's many skills do not include the kitchen while I rather enjoy it. 

"Really?" Cae beams at me. "I would love to have you help me in the kitchen, if you enjoy cooking, Shepard. None of my children except for Pia actually like to cook, so I take every opportunity I can get to share it. Especially now that I actually can." She laughs it off, clearly floating on her new health, but everyone else at the table needs a moment. Castius leans over and presses his forehead against the side of her head, and I can see him take a deep breath. It looks almost reverent, and that's definitely something from a man like Castius Vakarian. He's much more affectionate with his wife than I anticipated, and this side of him makes me smile. 

"I would love that, thank you. Garrus overestimates my skills though, fair warning." 

Garrus shakes his head. "I only do that with my own skills, Shepard. I ate better than week than I had in...well, since whenever my mom cooked for me before then. So we probably won't starve when we finally stop living on starships." 

"You assume we'll ever be permitted to retire," I laugh. 

"I'm eventually just going to kidnap you and run, and we both know it." He grins and swoops down to kiss my lips quickly, but before he even pulls away, I can feel everyone in his family staring at us. I imagine that it's odd for a Turian watching another Turian kiss, especially when it now seems to be so natural for Garrus. I dare a glance around and find all smiles, though. They may find it odd, but so far, no issues. 

"We should get going to the docks," Castius announces, checking the time on his Omni-Tool. "If we leave early today, we should get back to Palaven in the morning tomorrow. I'd rather not get in too late." 

"Dad, I'm going to reach out to Primarch Fedorian when we get back," Garrus announces. "We need to talk about - " 

"No, you don't," Cae interjects. "There will be no working this week. You're getting married, this is your first visit home in years. Those are your focuses." 

Garrus glances at me, and I do my best to keep my frown private. I don't need arguments with his family - and I don't ever want to argue with his mom. "That's unrealistic," he argues. "We're about to be at war, we can't afford a vacation." 

"You must," she answers with a simple shrug. "Are you telling me that a rushed wedding in a couple of weeks is what you wanted? Shepard?" Those amber eyes pin me, and Cae unleashes the full force of power that every mom across species seems to have. I cannot lie to her...and part of me doesn't want to. 

"Ah, shit," Garrus breathes, putting his hand softly on my thigh. "You wanted to wait until after the war so that we could have a real wedding. A real honeymoon, everything. You don't want this." 

I shake my head and look up at him. There's no need for a lie now. "I want to marry you, and I want to do it now. But...I'm really uncomfortable just pretending that nothing is wrong, that the Reapers aren't coming." 

"Perhaps a compromise," Castius mutters into his coffee cup. Garrus and I both stare at him for a moment, then look at one another again. 

Garrus takes my hand. "I like my mom's idea, you focusing on nothing but the wedding. That was important to you. And Spirits know you deserve a vacation before going back to Earth. Besides..." He takes a breath and winces a little. "And I don't think the Hierarchy councils are going to be excited to talk with you on Palaven while Earth is waiting for you to serve a sentence." 

"Will they talk to you?"

"Probably not," he admits with a laugh I recognize as full of self deprecation. He rubs his fringe a little, glancing around the table while blue creeps up his throat.

"Their loss," I murmur, putting my hand on his cheek. He leans into it and gives me a grateful smile. 

"I could arrange a meeting with the Primarch and the councils," Castius announces, confident and calm. "And I think my darling wife could agree that so long as Garrus doesn't spend all his time in those meetings and Shepard continues to focus on the wedding, we can spare that time to start preparing for the Reapers." 

Cae narrows her eyes playfully at Castius, and his returning grin is almost identical to one I've seen on Garrus countless times. "Ever the politician, my heart. I agree." Her gaze turns to Garrus and me. "I only want you to focus on all your priorities, including one another. It's a challenge to learn to balance work and your relationship when the stakes are high, and that's probably worse for the two of you considering what you're facing. Learn now, avoid the fights later." 

It seems like sage advice, especially considering she's been bonded for decades and that Garrus and I aren't immune to fighting. Both of us being stubborn and hot-headed, we're bound to butt heads. I'd like to avoid it as much as possible, and I never want either of us to feel like we're not a priority. Granted, I have trouble imagining Garrus ever not keeping me a priority. 

I shake my head, shaking off the thoughts. "We'll figure it out. I'm trusting you when I leave Palaven to get ready, so I can trust you while I'm there too. You've never let me down on a mission. Don't start now, Vakarian." 

"Aye, Commander," he replies with a soft grin. I can tell that, especially in front of his family, the validation means a lot to him. I know how little Garrus thinks of himself, and while I'm not sure his family really shares his opinions, I'm going to make damn sure they know I don't. 

"So then we're settled. Garrus and I will speak with the Primarch about the Reapers and readying Palaven," Castius announces with a firm nod. 

"You're going to help?" I can hear the surprise in Garrus' voice, and I can't help but share it. It's been something of a threat to our reputations to talk about the Reapers publicly; I'm surprised someone who cares as much about that sort of thing as Castius does is willing. 

But he nods. "I've seen something of the threat you face. I'll do whatever I can to protect our family, our people from it." 

"And while they're focused on that, we get to plan your wedding!" Solana chirps, taking my hand. "I was too young to be involved with Dex or Ephram getting married, I'm not even gonna pretend that I'm sad Garrus waited so long." 

Garrus huffs while his family laughs. "Thank you, Sol, for bringing attention once again to how long I waited." 

His mom reaches across the table and pats his hand. "You were just waiting for your bondmate." 

"And then for your bondmate to pull her head out of her ass," I chime in. "And come back to life." 

"Worth it," Garrus says with a sweet smile, bumping his forehead affectionately against the side of my head. He gives me a grin I recognize as a challenge while snagging a fry from my plate. "I'm pretty ready to meet with the Primarch. Are you ready for wedding stuff?" 

I laugh. "Not even a little. But I just destroyed the Collector base so I figure it can't be that bad." 

Or at least I hope not.

*****

Shepard gets to meet with the Council before we leave, and I don't envy her. I'm sure they'll do what I did and suggest that she tell Earth to shove it, that she can work under their jurisdiction, but I know what her reaction will be. And I know for sure because Shepard talked to me before leaving instead of making it sound so easy this time. She's keeping her promises, and I'll keep mine. But I still wouldn't want to take her place with the Council, listening to more bullshit about how the Reapers are fake and Sovereign was controlled by Saren. Not after what we just went through. 

I'm free from going because Shepard is a big girl and because I agree to help my parents get their stuff from the hospital and hotel they've been in for weeks into the shuttle. It doesn't take us long between the four of us, even with my parents going to the shuttle early since my mom is pretty exhausted after lunch. It's a nice shuttle, with bigger seats than usual and cots that pull out over them with enough space for two Turians on each - or a Turian and a human in our case. 

"Solana and Cas, you'll need to bunk up," my father announces. 

"Oh, gross," Solana teases, shoving our nephew playfully. 

It's weird, going home. Or really even thinking about Palaven as my home. That's the Normandy, that's...with Shepard. But it's nice, too, being with my family. And it's important, especially now. I'm thrilled that my parents agreed to let us get married on Palaven; I'd marry that woman anywhere - Noveria included, even outside - but getting married at home and with family...that's perfect. 

I just have to keep reminding myself that Shepard will come home. She's not leaving me, not really. Not forever. I have to focus on marrying her instead of losing her so that I don't lose myself. 

Solana sits next to me, close enough that our shoulders are touching, and I know in an instant that she's reading my thoughts. "Did you bring your medicine?" she asks, quietly enough that anyone else would need to strain to hear her, and she definitely waited until they were all talking about something else on purpose. 

"Yes, and the paperwork like you asked." It might not be her specialty, but as a doctor, Solana can make sure I continue to get my anti-depressants. And I can trust her to do it discretely. If word got out that I was treating a mental illness with medication, it wouldn't just be my father's reaction that I'd need to worry about. I would lose all of my credibility with the Hierarchy, with the Primarch, and my ability to support Shepard in getting Palaven ready for the war with the Reapers. I'm not ashamed, but I do need to be cautious.

"Good. Do you have a plan for how to take it at home?"

"I dry swallow the pills, and I don't expect anyone to go through my shit, so I'll just keep it in my room. Do you think that's not enough?"

"No, that's good. I think I'll probably keep a prescription set aside for you, though, just in case. And you need to have some with your armor, in your go bag." She looks down a little, her expression darkening. "In case things get bad in a hurry." 

That's a damn good point. If I have to jump up and get on a battlefield, get deep into war, I need to have my pills ready to go with me because I'm not going to stop and think about them in the moment. I don't need to be depressed and dark at war; I need to be at the top of my game. 

"Thanks, baby Sol, that's smart." 

Now she gives me an entirely different sort of look. "Well, of course it's smart. I'm the genius of the Vakarian clan." 

She doesn't bother to say that quietly, and Dex reacts almost as quickly as I do. "What lies are you telling over there?" our oldest brother calls. He's nicer than me since I immediately yank my sister into a headlock and keep her there - not a difficult feat. 

Solana is brilliant. I've known that from the moment she started medical school with the aim of being a surgeon because the little genius has been spared from any conversations about marriage her entire adult life. Turians are allowed to push that off if it benefits their career, and Solana shows so much promise as a surgeon and medical researcher that the Hierarchy and our father wouldn't let anything get in her way. Now, she's just put one fellowship or research project after another, and she's almost twenty-six, unmarried, without a single damn comment ever made about it. 

I'm jealous since I've been fighting off those comments since I was seventeen, but I'm not disappointed. If Solana stays single forever, it's one less thing for me to worry about. So long as she's happy, she knows she won't get any comments from me. 

But she knows I need updates on her life too. 

I release her from the headlock and pull her against my side more gently, both of us resting against that back of what will be the bed I share with Shepard tonight. "You seeing anyone? Any new projects coming up?" 

"No and not immediately," she answers. "I was kind of seeing someone. Mostly just physical, you know?" 

"I truly wish I didn't." 

She laughs. "Shut up. Anyway. He was moving to a different district for work, and I wasn't interested enough to keep it going long distance. So that's done. No one else for now." 

"Better find a date for the wedding. Dad will only let so much slide," I note. 

"Oh, shit. Yeah." She grins up at me. "Get me one of your friends to go with!" 

I scoff at her. "No, I'm not sending you on a date with one of my friends, that's gross." 

"It's actually less gross," she counters. "I have had enough experience accidentally sleeping with someone you've already been with, so I never do it on purpose. You can be certain I won't be sleeping with whoever you choose." 

"Oh. Then, yes, I'll get you a date. Age appropriate, though. I don't care if you're into older guys, I'm not giving you anyone older than me even for a fake date." 

She fakes a groan, still smiling. "Fine! How does Shepard deal with how overprotective you are?"

"She complains about it," I laugh. "I'm sure she'll enjoy having you to commiserate with." Solana giggles and puts her arms around my middle, squeezing me. I hold onto her with both arms, soaking in the sort of relaxation I only get when holding my baby sister. "I'm really glad you're coming home and staying for a while, Garrus. I know it's a shitty reason to stay, and you know I wish Shepard was staying...but I'm glad you are." 

I tilt my head to rest it on hers. "Me, too, baby Sol." 

"Solana, our food order is ready," Dad announces suddenly, already holding a datapad out to her. "Take Cas and go pick it up." It's not a question or a request, and she knows it. Our father doesn't ask us to do things, even now that we're adults. I give Sol a squeeze and then let her go. At least she can get away with a dramatic sigh; I'd get hit for that. 

My heart stutters when I hear Solana and Cas encounter someone I'm certain is Shepard before I can hear her, before I can smell her, as soon as they step off the shuttle. She walks on, and the air in the shuttle sparks to life between us. I watch her offer a smile around the group, but I can spot the tension instantly. 

"That bad, kid?"

"Worse." Her shoulders call a little, and I open my arms to her. Shepard comes to me immediately, but I can see her step falter; normally, she would climb onto my lap and straddle me for comfort. She's obviously not going to do that right now. I motion her closer and lean forward, stopping her to stand right in front of me. I pull one of her boots up onto my leg and then the other, letting her kick them off as soon as she sits beside me, and then I guide her to lay with her head in my lap. She lets out a soft sigh when I run my fingers down her scalp in a soft massage. 

"Still ignoring everything about the Reapers?"

"Of course. Though they've moved from saying that the Reapers just aren't real to saying that we can't tell people about the Reapers because we don't want panic. Which actually feels worse." 

"It's worse," Pia agrees. "I hate thinking about Cas going off to school with those things on their way. Evacuating all the kids will be a nightmare anyway." 

"Yeah. Maybe evacuation plans are something I can try to work on with the Primarch," I muse, still fairly unsure I can actually get the Primarch to do anything. I'm no one. But my father gives me an approving nod, and that helps. Shepard's smile helps more. "What did they say about you going to Earth?" 

This time when she sighs, it's more of a heavy huff. "They said exactly what you thought they would. They could give me the option of not going, but I'd have to stay on mission constantly. And I don't want them to have control of me or to owe them anything, honestly." 

"Agreed. I think you should remind them all of what they owe you more often." 

Shepard peeks open one green eye to give me a look, but lets it fade quickly to enjoy the scalp massage again. I can see her whole body starting to relax; it's a heady thing, knowing that she trusts me to put her at ease this way and that I've gotten close enough to know how. I become aware of eyes on me, but I startle a little when I look up to find every eye on me. Everyone except my mom is trying not to smile. 

My mom is positively beaming, and it makes my throat feel hot. It's not shame, not by any means. Nothing about Shepard or the way I love her brings me shame. But it is a little embarrassing. I've always been intentionally not this guy. They're seeing a different side of me. She's changed me in way that the people who knew me before will definitely be surprised by.

My dad snaps out of it first. "Solana and Cas shouldn't be long, and we are scheduled to leave in about an hour. Everything is on board, right? I'll do a final check with our pilot." 

"I'll have a smoke before we take off. Garrus, joining me?" my brother asks innocently. 

Shepard's look is anything but innocent, and I can't help but laugh. I cover her face with my hand. "No, Dex, I don't smoke," I lie dramatically. "Whatever gave you the idea that I'd partake in such a disgusting, unhealthy habit?" 

"Giant liar," Shepard protests, muffled by my hand which she's not trying to fight off. 

"Oh, you hate it too?" Pia chirps. "Maybe together we can get them to quit." 

Dex laughs. "My darling, I am forty and have been smoking since I was fifteen. I'm not changing now." 

"You started smoking when you were fifteen?" my mom demands, appalled. 

"Hey, Garrus was twelve." Dex flashes me a grin and ducks out immediately after that, leaving me to deal with that on my own. 

Shepard smacks my hand off. "Twelve, Garrus?! It's a wonder you still have lungs at all." 

"I think was actually thirteen if that helps." Judging by their faces, it does not help, but all I can do is laugh. "I'm almost thirty now, and I rarely smoke at all now. I didn't even bring any home with me." 

I say it smugly, but Shepard scoffs. "Because you can get them off your brother!" 

"Can you fall asleep or something? You're not helping." Shepard laughs and reaches up, covering my face with her hand this time. I catch it for a quick nip on the tip of her middle finger which earns me the sort of grin that says I would love her reaction to that if we were alone. As it is, we're going to have to keep things very kid-friendly until we get to Palaven at least. Well, at most. I can only keep my hands off her for so long. 

It feels like only a few minutes later when Solana and Cas return, and then we're in the air and heading for Palaven. For what used to be home and will be for the immediate future. At least for me. 

A shuttle ride that's more than twenty-four hours isn't exactly fun, but we make the most of it. Shepard plays a game on the floor with Solana, Cas, and my mom for a while while Dex and I check out the details on some new skycar models coming out and my father reads. We have a picnic-style dinner, and then Cas plays a video game with me while Solana and Shepard make each other laugh about Spirits only know what. When it gets late, we all agree on a movie and settle into our respect beds to watch it projected on a wall. 

Shepard, wearing one of my shirts and a loose pair of shorts, snuggles into me. I wrap an arm around her, holding her waist, and inhale her citrus and cinnamon scent. The cot is a fraction of the size bed we're used to, but we end up sleeping practically on top of each other anyway, so I don't think we have any complaints. I slip my hand under her shirt to trail my talons along her spine and to soak in some heat; the shuttle is chilled. 

"Are you cold?" she whispers, tilting her head to look at me. I have no idea how she read that on me. 

"A little, but it's fine." 

She glances around and likely notices the way everyone else is bundled up too. She looks at my chest and smirks. "Should have realized when you kept a shirt on to sleep in." 

"I'd prefer body warmth, but this will do." Shepard rolls her eyes but kisses my chest when she lays down again. "Chilled or not, this is perfect, baby. I need nothing else right now." 

Her arm tightens over me. "I love you." 

"I love you, too." She falls asleep not long after that. Solana catches my eye from across the shuttle and smiles, almost proud. I know I'm proud. I don't need anyone else's opinions on Shepard to know the kind of woman she is - the kind of woman I'm marrying. Right now, I have everything I need.


	2. Nowhere

I wake up to the soft hum of a shuttle, Garrus's purr-like snoring, and a cocoon of warmth created by the Turian and the blanket he pulled up almost completely over our heads. I nuzzle into him, not ready to completely let go of sleep yet, and Garrus wakes enough to tighten his hold on me. He nuzzles his face against mine in return, then our foreheads meet. The warmth that rolls down my spine at the connection brings a smile to my face. 

"You sleep okay?" he asks softly, brushing the hair behind my ear and tugging softly on the lobe. 

"Yeah. I keep telling you how comfortable you are." I open my eyes to take in his grin and find sleepy blue eyes looking back at me. "Were you warm enough?"

He nods, fighting a yawn. "Mmhmm. You're so snuggly, you kept me warm." 

"You're welcome." He chuckles, then leans in to kiss me softly. I don't resist, relaxing into it. Neither of us deepens it, our tongues meeting slowly and softly. It's not without passion, but the passion isn't the point. Not only could that go nowhere right now, but we don't always need it. Every connection is valuable, every moment is precious. And I never hesitate to take advantage of Garrus being so gentle. 

Just as slowly, we separate, the kisses lingering. He kisses my jaw, and I kiss his mandible. He drops a kiss on my nose, and I trail a kiss along his clan markings. He kisses my forehead and then closes his eyes so that I can kiss them. One more kiss to my lips, and I keep my eyes closed when Garrus rests his forehead against mine again, his hand holding the side of my face. 

"Do this with me forever?" he breathes. "Every day?"

"I can't wait. Believe me, I'd never wake a day without you if I didn't have to." A pain builds in my chest at the thought of leaving him, and I press my hand to his heart instead of mine. "I want forever with you. You believe that, right?"

He nods, but I can see how tightly his eyes are closed. "I believe it. I haven't found a way to believe I'm worthy of it, of you, but I'm trying. I trust you." 

"I know. And I trust you." His eyes open, and I manage a smile. "It's not easy for me to leave you on Palaven, surrounded by Turians who might be better for you than I am just because of their species. Who might...make you feel better." 

His hand shifts to my jaw, his hold firm. "No one has ever made me feel the way you do. In any way." His thumb skims my lips. "I'm entirely yours, you know that." 

"I know. You're just...very sexual. Part of me feels bad for keeping you without for God only knows how long." It's not an easy thing to admit, but the way Garrus smiles immediately makes me feel better. 

"You're more than worth waiting for. And you'll just have to deal with all my pent up energy when you come back to me." 

"I think I can make that sacrifice." 

He hums and kisses me, harder this time. Controlling. Intense. He's making a point that I am his, that he will remain mine, and the point hits home. I'll be anxious the whole time we're apart, I think, but that's on me. There's nothing about Garrus - who he is or what he's done - that could make me believe he'd be unfaithful. The bond has relieved that pressure immensely. I just don't want Garrus to be uncomfortable or unsatisfied while we're apart. 

"Gotta say, big guy...I'm really looking forward to you making up for lost time with me. Even if I'm hoping we lose very little time." 

"We'll make every moment worth it." I get one more hard kiss before we hear the others starting to stir, and then one more gentle kiss I think just because he can't help it. 

"Morning, kids," his mom calls to us. 

"Morning, Mom." 

"Good morning." I roll to my back so that I can see around the shuttle and not be rude. Garrus props up on his elbow beside me; since no one else is quite at the sitting up stage of the morning, neither are we. 

"Aunt Sol, your feet stink," Cas complains, swatting one of Solana's bare feet off the bed so that it lands on the floor hard. She squeals at the cold metal and then, of course, proceeds to stick both her feet in his face. The two of them squealing makes me laugh, and Cae catches my eye with a grin as she sits up. Castis is up in a flash as well, quickly and seamlessly helping his wife slip her feet into fluffy-looking slippers. It's extremely sweet; now I know where Garrus gets it. 

As if on cue, Garrus nuzzles my cheek softly. "Coffee? Only the instant stuff, but I'll grab you a cup." 

"I should probably grab you a cup since you're going to be freezing the moment you get up." 

"Hmm. You're worth it." He nips my ear and then shifts right over me, climbing out of bed. He protests loudly the moment his feet are on the floor, of course, and no one even tries not to laugh at him for the dance he does across the shuttle to steal Dex's slippers. "Your feet are small," he complains at his brother. 

"No, you're freakishly large," Dex counters, his voice mostly still muffled with sleep. 

"You are tall," Solana notes as Garrus ducks into the little kitchenette area. "Where does he get his size from, Mom?"

She shrugs, leaning into Castis's side. "I have no idea. Not my family; the Vakarians are much taller. And I think he's taller than anyone in the clan, don't you, Castis?"

"My uncle was the tallest I knew, and I'm fairly certain Garrus is taller." 

Cas laughs. "And Shepard is so tiny." 

I shoot him a look even while I laugh with them. "I am not tiny. I'm just...smaller than average for an already small species." That, of course, only makes them laugh harder, but I can accept it. Especially because I love my size difference with Garrus. He makes me feel tiny in the best ways. 

"Can everyone stop talking about me like I'm not right here, please?" Garrus returns balancing two cups of coffee in one hand and holding a third in the other. That one goes to his mom before he returns with mine and what is apparently his own. 

"Hey!" Solana protests. "How come only they get cups?"

"Mom gave birth to me, and Shepard..." He gets a downright lewd smile on his face, and heat surges into my cheeks while I smack him in the arm for it. Garrus just laughs, his brother and nephew happily joining in, and kisses my cheek softly. It's damn hard to be mad at him. 

"Well at least toss me the slippers so I can get some." Garrus obliges, throwing them to her and sliding back on the cot so his feet don't have to be anywhere near the floor. I join him, letting him hold me with one arm around my shoulders and enjoying my coffee, even if it is instant. 

"Am I gonna get my slippers back or..."

Garrus scoffs at Dex's question. "You got enough as the oldest. You can share." 

Solana gives him a high five for that as she passes, and this time the rude gesture comes from Dex. And I learn quickly that forty is not too old to get scolded by your mother. 

After everyone has been caffeinated and we eat breakfast, we start getting dressed to de-board, everyone using the small bathroom one at time for privacy. I go into my bag and immediately frown; this isn't right. 

"I repacked for you," Garrus explains. "You need long-sleeves and pants whenever you're going to be outside on Palaven. Your skin is not cut out for the strength of our sun or all the radiation. I got you a special lotion too to protect the parts of you that can't be covered, your face and hands." 

"It's going to be hot as hell, and I have to stay completely covered?" I grimace. "I can see why many humans aren't eager to live on Palaven." 

He laughs at me while I take my turn in the bathroom. My hair goes up off my neck, but I get dressed per his request in a long-sleeved white shirt, baggy dark gray cargo pants, and my favorite boots. I don't have shame about wearing my pink lip gloss anymore, even on Palaven where the only person who might appreciate or understand it is Garrus. He's all I really care for anyway. 

Solana is waiting when I get out, and we pass one another in the small hallway. "Oh, Spirits, Shepard! You are so pretty." She reaches out and fingers a curl. "I never really appreciated hair when I saw it before, but yours is amazing." 

"Thank you," I manage, blushing like a fool. 

"Crap, is that rude - touching it?" she asks, yanking her hand back. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even think!" 

"No, no, not at all! Well, it's rude if you touch a stranger's hair, sure. But your future bond-sister?" I give her a genuine smile now. "Not at all."

Solana beams at me and then we part. Garrus is sitting with Cas, the two of them immersed in a video game, but he does double take at me and then stares. "Damn, Shepard." 

I scoff at him. "Please." 

"Hey." I hear him getting up while tossing my things back into my bag - not folded and packed neatly like Garrus's - and then he slips an arm around my waist. "Stop that. I don't think I've seen you in white before; your eyes and hair really pop. You're even more beautiful than usual," he murmurs into my ear. He squeezes me a little tighter. "And don't ever assume I'm lying to you." 

That last bit is an order, a warning, and I lean back against him as an apology for now. The quick nip to my neck tells me that it's accepted. 

"Thank you," I murmur back at him, even though I'm pretty sure everyone can hear us. "I love that you think I'm pretty." 

"I think you're fucking stunning. And I'm always right." 

"Okay, that's enough," I tease, elbowing him playfully. Garrus laughs and tugs me down into the seats with him, pulling my legs over his. He holds up a small silver tube that I assume is the lotion, and then motions me closer. I can't help a grin, more than happy to let him apply it to my face. "You need to remember to reapply this, especially if I'm not around. You'll get severely burnt, and I read that humans can get cancer from radiation." 

"You did research?" I laugh before he can answer. "Look who I'm talking to, of course you did research." 

"I won't be sorry for my obsessive need to protect you," he responds with a chuckle. "But seriously. I'm not being crazy. Palaven isn't exactly a non-hostile environment if you don't have plates. Okay?" 

"Okay. I promise to let you do this as often as you want." He rolls his eyes but grins, continuing to rub the lotion on my face, my neck, my ears. It's thicker than I'd like and not the most comfortable thing I've ever had on my skin. but he promises I can wash it off as soon as I get inside for the day. And that I won't have to wear it for our wedding ceremony. 

I get it onto my hands and wrists, I promise Garrus several times that I won't roll up my sleeves, and then he's finally convinced that I can get off the shuttle. Just in time, since we're landing. 

"Customs, then it's about an hour to the compound. We're near the city, so we can decide what to do today when we get there. No plans or pressure. Sound good?" 

"I don't have emails to check, a mission to deal with, or a schedule? Yeah, that actually does sound pretty good." Garrus smiles, kisses me, and then we stand as the shuttle lands on Palaven. Anticipation bubbles in my stomach and chest; it's always exciting to visit a planet for the first time, and Palaven feels almost mythical to most humans. Plus, it's Garrus's home. I'm excited to see it. 

Garrus hands me my bag, and I strap it across my chest while he does the same with his. He also grabs the extra bag of personal items we had to take from the Normandy. I gratefully accept his hand and let him lead me off the shuttle with the rest of the family, all of us following the clan patriarch. The shuttle landed on a pad, so I get my first taste of Palaven heat and sun the moment we step off. It's like opening an oven that's been on high heat all day and sticking my head inside in. The heat knocks the air out of my lungs, and I have to wince away from the light and the slight sting on my face. I'm grateful as hell for that lotion. 

"You okay?" Garrus asks softly, hand on my shoulder to give me a moment to get my eyes adjusted. 

"How many fucking suns does this planet have?!"

He laughs at me, then tugs me along with him. We cross into a large, important-looking building. At first, I balk when I realize the place is almost completely glass. It seems like letting in the sun would be a bad idea in this heat. Instead, the interior of the building is a completely refreshing temperature - not the bracing cold that some buildings on Mindior were in the summer, but absolutely perfect. I can breathe again, and the natural light is lovely instead of being overpowering. For a government building, it's actually really pretty. It surprises me that Turians bother with aesthetics considering what I've learned and everything Garrus has told me. 

Customs is an easy process, even if being the only non-Turian in a fairly crowded place is a little weird for me. There's no trouble with my paperwork, I think mostly because Castis Vakarian is signing for my arrival. Garrus has more trouble, actually, for having been off-world so long. He wasn't kidding about that being an issue. I hold his hand the whole time, and he squeezes my fingers in what I know is an effort to keep himself grounded and calm and unashamed. 

Before long, we're in a different shuttle and zooming toward the Vakarian compound. That phrasing keeps confusing and intimidating me. They don't call it a home but a compound. What does that even mean? 

I choose not to ask, assuming I'll find out soon, and take the opportunity instead to check out the landscape as we ride. A brief venture through the city before we pass out of it tells me that Cipritine Proper could give any city on Earth a run for its money. It's massive, skyscrapers towering higher than I've ever seen. It's beautiful too, sun sparkling off all the glass and something on the streets sparkling as well. 

The shuttle takes us out of the city before long and through land that looks almost like desert. It's occupied, people and vehicles around, but still has a barren feel for the environment. We pass a few gated communities that are set too far back for much of a look, and then finally get to one that I can actually see. It's beautiful inside the gates, green growing lush somehow despite the heat and the buildings covered in what is now familiar glass but in eclectic shapes and layouts. There are several homes at least, I think, and a lot of ground. 

"Welcome to the Vakarian compound," Garrus tells me as we approach the front of the gate. 

I balk at him. "Wait, this...all of this is where your family lives?!"

"Yeah, it's all ours. A few acres, and both my brothers have their own homes with their families in the compound. Solana will too if she stays." He doesn't include himself, I note, but I already knew that. It surprises me that he doesn't sound happy about this, though. He reads the look in my eye and shrugs. "You saw my place on the Citadel, the neighborhood I chose. This isn't my style."

"Fair enough. Shit, it's gorgeous, though." I shake my head, still staring even while the others start climbing out. "The house I grew up in was fine but we were farmers. This is...wow." 

"Good place for a vacation." Garrus snags my hand, and I follow him off the shuttle, back into the brutal heat. Fortunately, what is very obviously the main house - because of proximity to the gate and the size - is only a few yards away, and the inside is just as refreshing. The Turians must have some kind of trick system or magic for this perfect temperature. 

Considering the compound and the size of the house, I'm struck by how homey it feels inside. It actually reminds me a lot of my childhood home, a soft smell in the air triggering something in my heart. It's massive but comfortable, a home that is obviously focused on family. And damn is there a lot of family. We're surrounded in moments, Garrus overrun by children and adult Turians alike - and I can tell he wasn't expecting most of it. I get out of the way, grateful when Solana pulls me to her side and offers a quick at-distance run-down. 

The children belong to Dex and Ephram, Garrus's brothers. Some of them have never met him but are no less excited to see him. Valera, Ephram's wife, is here as well and greets Garrus with genuine joy; I already knew that he loves his brother's wife even if the brother is a very different story. There are also some uncles, aunts, and cousins here who wanted to celebrate Cae coming home healthy as much as they wanted to see if Garrus was really coming. I feel like a bit of a sideshow, but everyone is at least smiling and kind. And Garrus doesn't even pretend he's not relieved when he can escape the crowd and return to me, a kid who looks maybe six on his hip. 

"Shepard, this is my niece, Nel," he tells him, holding the child's hand out for me to shake but then intentionally moving it away so that she giggles. "Nelly, this is my Shepard." 

Holy shit, my Shepard. I love that. 

And I think I love this kid too, her little laugh the best sound ever. 

"It's very nice to meet you, Nel," I tell her, not about to touch the nickname Garrus gave her yet. If she's the age that she looks, she was just a toddler the last time she saw her uncle, but it's pretty obvious that Nel is crazy about him. And I can see that it's mutual. 

"I love your fringe," she says, ducking her face into Garrus's throat to try and hide the blush creeping up her own throat. 

"It's called hair, Nelly," Garrus murmurs with a laugh. 

"And thank you," I cut in. "You're cute enough to call it whatever you want." 

Nelly giggles at that, hiding her face even more, and Garrus beams at me before pulling me into his arms. "Hungry, my love?" 

I am, so we settle in to eat around the counter in the kitchen while the family greets each other and fawns over Cae - which I can't blame them for and am very grateful for. I couldn't handle all the attention at once that she's getting so I'm immensely relieved that only some of them come over to say hi. Garrus, I can tell, is not pleased that most of the family chooses to ignore my existence, but I have him and Nel, so I don't need anything else. 

"Is your dad the highest ranked person in the family?" I ask him, watching the others show Castis obvious deference. 

Garrus nods, then shrugs. "Well, yeah, but technically no since Dex and Ephram are generals as well. He's just been the highest ranking for longest, and he has the most decorations." He grins at me and adds, "Well...until you. He's not nearly as decorated as you are, and you should have about a dozen more medals than you actually do." 

"You should have earned some of those medals right alongside me, big guy," I remind him, accepting the piece of meat that Nel offers. She's getting joy out of feeding me whatever this meat is, and I don't mind one bit. I focus on Garrus now, though. "Does it bother you? Not having the rank they do yet?"

"Yet?" He laughs. "I've taken a different path, and I don't regret it. It doesn't bother me. Although..." He trails off and shakes his head, but I kick his shin lightly and give him a look. He smiles almost shyly and breaks off another chunk of meat for Nel, at least half of which will end up in my mouth. "I kinda wish Spectre was still an option." 

"It's not?"

He gives a humorless laugh and fills his mouth to avoid talking for a moment, I'm sure. "I was warned that I wasn't given leave from training. They gave me a couple days for you but, as far as they knew, you were just my commander. I pretty much told them to shove it and got onto a shuttle for Omega. From what I heard from my father...there's no going back." Garrus looks up, almost definitely finding his dad across the room. "The old man was not upset." 

"Hmm. Well, I happen to know a Spectre that the Council owes a favor or two. Maybe we'll have to see what she can do someday." 

Garrus turns to look at me, but Nel jumps in just in time. "Shepard, do you wanna see my toys?"

"I want literally nothing more than to see your toys." And then I let the six-year-old drag me off to start my vacation so that I don't have to explain or consider any more Spectre plans with Garrus. We both know we'll have a career together; we'll figure out what it needs to look like later. 

*****

Watching Shepard with Turian children is going to be the death of me. 

It was bad enough with just my niece, Nel, who has shamelessly been my favorite child since her birth - even though I haven't been here for most of her life. She's older, though, so it was just cute. But once the other kids realized how much fun Shepard apparently is when playing with building blocks, they swarm. And the moment one of the youngest, ten-month-old Adley, climbs into her lap, I'm done. 

Shepard and Turian babies. My heart can barely take it. 

"Your woman is an excellent block builder," Dex teases, more than loud enough for Shepard to hear him. "I suppose humans have to be good at something." 

Shepard glances at the kids and quickly throws him a Turian 'fuck you' hand signal. My brother was clearly anticipating it and laughs heartily. 

"You should see our quarters," I note. "Half the space is covered in ship models; she's obsessed with them." 

"It's not half!" Shepard protests. Then her face falls. "Oh, my God, do you think they're gonna take my models?" 

I shrug. "I don't know. But they'll owe you a lot of credits if they lose them." That definitely does soothe her completely, but she doesn't let it get her down too much. Probably for the sake of the kids. 

"I love ship models, too!" Titus, Ephram's oldest son, chirps. "Maybe you can come to our house and I'll show you?"

"I'd love that!" 

Shepard says it genuinely, and I know she means it. I also know that she doesn't know who that child belongs to. Ephram is pretty unlikely to let Shepard in his house. He's not even here to welcome his mom home from the hospital because he wants to avoid me and Shepard. 

"He'll be here for dinner tonight," Dex tells me, evidently reading my mind. "You need to prepare yourself to be nice. Or at least...professional." 

"Dex, I'll be on my best behavior until the moment he's rude to Shepard. And we both know that he'll be rude to Shepard." 

Dex sighs but doesn't have anything else to say about it. Ephram hates me, I have no love lost for him, and there's nothing anyone is going to be able to do about that. I mostly just choose not to speak to him at all. But I'm not going to ignore or tolerate whatever he might say to Shepard. Even if she weren't my bondmate, she's my best friend and my hero. I will defend her, no matter the trouble it brings me at home. 

"Garrus?" I turn immediately at my mom's voice. She's on the couch, seated. I'm sure she's exhausted after the hours she spent with the extended family; fortunately, they've given us a break. I go to the couch and sit beside her, and she takes my hand. "I was talking to Solana and Pia, and I think we'd really like to take Shepard dress shopping today, for the wedding. Do you think she'd be comfortable with us?"

I look across the room to where Shepard is laying on the floor with my nieces and nephews. Dex has joined them, too. The sight makes me melt all over again. 

"Yeah, Mom, I definitely think she'd be comfortable. Well, going with you. I'm not sure about the dress thing, honestly." I give her a smirk and add, "Besides, I think she can handle her own if you decide to get rough." 

"Oh, you." She swats my chest playfully. She looks up at my dad, who is absolutely always standing near wherever my mom is, and adds, "We had something else wanted to talk about as well. How would you feel about getting married in one week instead of two?"

She's smiling, but I have to frown. "I think that sounds about twice as crazy. Why would we want to do that?"

"Well...you said something about Shepard wanting a real wedding and a real honeymoon? We'll have to make do with what we can for the wedding...but we had some thoughts about next week for a honeymoon." 

*****

I agreed to dress shopping fairly happily, but I underestimated what I was actually signing up for. Solana, Pia, Valera, and Cae drag me to five or six different dress shops around the city. A few are pretty unwilling to work with me - it's not like I can buy a Turian dress off the rack when I have breasts instead of carapace - but the others are happy to do so. And one finally seems capable. Plus, we find a dress that is going to work on my height and shape while meeting the needs and standards for the ceremony. I'm beyond grateful to have three women who have done this before with me to make sure I don't screw anything up. I know Garrus would be happy if I showed up in my armor, but I want more than that for him. 

By the time we get home, I'm spent, but Cae is absolutely exhausted. She overdid it, overeager to walk with her new ability to do so, though none of us would dare call her out on that. Fortunately, Garrus talked up my cooking skills, so Solana and I convince Cae to take a nap and let me handle dinner. 

Cooking dinner on Palaven for an entire family of Turians is an entirely different experience than cooking in Garrus's apartment for just us. It's intimidating as hell, and I'm almost too anxious to get started, but once I do, I settle into it. I love cooking. It feels as natural to me to be in a kitchen as it does on a battlefield. I go with a recipe for Garrus's favorite meal and hopefully don't screw it up too much. At least it smells good, and Cae does not look concerned when she joins me near dinnertime. 

We're serving just as everyone else arrives, Garrus included. He pulls me up against him from behind and nips my throat softly. "You survived dress shopping. That's something, right?"

"It's something," I laugh. He grins and pulls a seat out for me as everyone sits around the table. 

It's weird to have Garrus's other brother Ephram right across the table, the only person I haven't formally met, and have no one at the table bother to attempt introducing us. I just avoid looking in that direction and focus on food...well, on watching everyone try the food first. 

Garrus takes a bite and moans. "Spirits, I missed being home. Thank you, Mom." 

I catch her eye and we both grin, my cheeks heating a little. 

"Oh, this is perfect, Cae," Castis chimes in. The others offer full-mouthed approvals as well - including Ephram. 

"Actually...you have Shepard to thank for this meal," Cae announces. "I may have overextended myself a bit today when we got home, and Shepard was kind enough to handle making this delicious meal for us so that I could rest." 

The heat in my cheeks sets to a blaze when every set of eyes at the table - none as impossibly blue as Garrus's - turns to look at me. 

"You did this?" Garrus asks softly. I nod, and he leans down to bump my head with his forehead. "Thank you, baby. It's really amazing." 

"Shepard! This is really impressive," Pia chimes in. 

And then a fork clatters to a table, followed by a tense, dead silence. Ephram has apparently finished his meal. 

"Ephram," Valera murmurs. "Stop it." 

He shakes his head, looks at his plate, and then glares at me from across the table. I don't know what Garrus or I could have done to earn a look with that much hate. "I won't eat food that an alien touched." 

"Ephram!" Cae scolds. 

"Are you serious?" Garrus snaps. I put my hand on his thigh, not quite restraining him but definitely ready to if it becomes necessary. "Dad, you're just gonna let him talk to her like that?"

Ephram stands, shoving his chair back. "Val, kids, let's go. We'll have dinner at home." 

"Oh, you're gonna deny your children food instead of letting them eat what my bond-mate made?" 

"Please, you say that like it means anything," Ephram laughs cruelly. "She's a human, it's nothing. She's nothing." 

That sends Garrus to his feet, and I follow him up immediately, putting myself between him and the table, pushing him gently away from it. "Stop." 

"Dad!" Solana protests. Garrus looks to their father as well, but Castis remains silent, and I can see pain flash through the rage on Garrus's face at that. 

"Fuck this," Garrus growls. "Ephram, you can stay. We're leaving," he announces, taking my hand. I'm certainly not going to fight him, and I squeeze his fingers so that he knows that. "Mom, you wanna know why I haven't come in the last three years? Look around. That man is why." Garrus shoots one more glare at his father and then pulls me with him, through the house and right out the front door. Neither of us looks back with the family calling for us. 

Garrus leads me toward an open garage and then into a car that he already has the starter for. I get in beside him, not saying a word yet. It's not often Garrus is this angry, and usually it's at me, so I'm just going to follow my usual tactic and give him some time. We're off in seconds, flying over the hard earth outside the compound, heading away from the city. 

I'm well aware that he's going at an unsafe speed, but I never feel unsafe with him. His Omni-Tool is going off almost constantly for a few minutes, and then my starts as well. I take his off his wrist, shut it down, and then do the same with mine. Garrus takes my hand after that, holding it on my lap but still not speaking. 

We end up in a mountainous area, a little greener than the rest of the land and even more beautiful. Garrus takes us to the top of a large hill, pointing the car toward the city, and then finally cuts the engine. He throws his head back into the seat, staring up at the roof of the car. I wait, figuring he'll talk when he's ready, and run my thumb over his knuckles. The sun sets completely while we sit, and right before me, Cipritine Proper comes to life. "Wow." 

It escapes me without me really meaning to say it, and Garrus looks at me before following my gaze out the window. At night, the city is lit up, and all the glass is shimmering. It's stunning, and we have a perfect view. 

"Yeah. I'd planned to bring you up here at some point this week. It's my favorite place on the planet." I look at him, the lights too far to cast a glow on him, so all we have is the moon. He smiles softly, sadly. "I came up here all the time with Nihlus. I swear, every time I ran here because my dad was pissing me off, Nihlus showed up. He just knew." 

I reach for his hand and squeeze. "I'm pretty sure he's here this time, too." 

Garrus closes his eyes for a second, then nods. "Yeah, you're right." He looks at me, his smile less sad now. "I'm really glad you're here tonight, though. Thank you." 

"There's nowhere else I would be, Garrus. You know I'm always on your side." 

He nods and takes a breath. "I know. I'm sorry for freaking out like that, though. And from dragging you away from a meal you cooked; that was rude." 

I laugh. "It wasn't rude. I understand why you wanted to get out of there." I reach for him, holding his jaw and pulling him to look at me. "You aren't the one who should be sorry. You did nothing wrong. Thank you for standing up for me." 

"My honor, kid." He leans in, and I meet him halfway for a soft kiss. When he pulls away, it's with a genuine smile, and then he pulls open the door on his side. "Come on." 

I get out and join him, sitting on the hood of the skycar with him. He leans back against the windshield and pulls me to lean on him, sitting between his legs. The view of the city and the stars above us, plus the incredible view of Menae - as he identifies the moon - makes this easily one of the most beautiful places I've ever been. "I love it here. Thank you for bringing me." 

He nuzzles his face into my neck, hot breath somehow pleasant even though it's hot out here still. "I love sharing this with you. I love you." 

"Say that again, please. I still haven't gotten over hearing it." 

"I love you," he growls, sliding his hands over my hips and then under my shirt. "Spirits, I love you so much. Let me love you." He cups my breasts over my bra while he says it, and I can't help arching into him. We're exposed and alone all at once here, but even with the isolation, the rush of adrenaline at being outside - at potentially being seen - gets me hot in an instant. I tilt my head for him, giving him more access to my neck and throat, and Garrus takes advantage. 

He unclasps my bra at the front and parts it to grope me properly. I'm in sensory overload heaven with the rough pads of his hands and sharp bite of his teeth, his hard body against me, and a warm breeze blowing over us. He's barely touched me, he's only been touching me for seconds, and I'm already ready melting for him. Hot for him. Desperate for him. 

"You turn me on so much, baby," he murmurs in my ear, then nips the lobe. "From the moment we met, from the first moment I touched you, you've fucking consumed me. Love you? Shepard...you're everything to me. I worship you, and I want to do it for the rest of my life." 

And now there are tears in my eyes, too. I have to take a deep breath to ground myself, but then Garrus tweaks my nipples, and I lose my breath entirely on a low, pathetic moan. I don't feel pathetic about it in his arms, though. Especially not after he growls again and squeezes me tighter. 

"I'm gonna take you right here," he breathes. "I want the Spirits to hear you screaming for me, Elle." 

It's not a question. I don't have to ask, I don't have to wonder if it's the right thing. He lifts all the burdens, all the fears, and takes control - of me, of my body, of the moment. Giving that over to him is beyond arousing. 

"Come here." Garrus shifts, practically lifting me off the hood of the car and then planting me on my feet beside it. He slides to the end of the hood, reaches back for me, and then guides me to stand in front of him. "Now kiss me," he breathes, shoving a hand into my hair and pulling me into him. I fall against him without any resistance, kissing him deeply. He grips my ass and tugs me against him, and I take hold of his fringe just as hard. 

"Take me here," I murmur against his mouth while panting for breath. "Please. Anywhere you want me." 

"I want you on your knees," he practically snarls. He wraps my ponytail around his hand and tugs my head back, licks a hot line up my throat, and then tugs until he's driven me all the way to my knees in front of the car. He shifts to the very edge, putting me closer to level with his cock, and swipes his thumb over my bottom lip. "Take me." 

The permission comes with another hot surge of arousal, and I don't even bother to pretend that I'm not thrilled about it. I tear through his belt and pants so quickly that Garrus chuckles and brushes my hair back from my forehead affectionately. "Can't help it," I admit, tugging his pants down to his knees. I look up to meet his eyes and lean in to nuzzle his cock against my cheek. 

"I love how eager you are, believe me," he purrs, reaching to the back of my head and letting my hair down. "I'm all yours, baby." 

His cock is somehow even more beautiful in the moonlight. I take my time running my fingers and then my tongue over every inch, every ridge, every dark swirl of blue. I tease my tongue under the wide crest of his head, then go in the opposite direction and tease the seam of his quad. He's swollen, nearly purple, and leaking profusely by the time I finally get back up to the top. Metal creaks, and his growl brings me to look up at him. 

"Fuck, you have become a real expert at torturing me," he pants, hands gripping the hood of the skycar. "It's taking more control than I think I actually have not to just put you on the ground and fuck your throat." 

"What do you always tell me when you're torturing me? You're so strong, baby," I tease, speaking close enough to his cock that I know he can feel my breath against it. 

"Shepard," he rips out. "I'm not that strong. Suck me off. Now." 

"Yes, sir." And I obey him, for his pleasure and mine since I'm just about ready to drool for him. I pull him as far into my throat as I can - proudly getting farther and farther with practice, especially since he confessed being jealous that I could get Tarquin's entire dick in my mouth - and hold on, knowing that he finds my gagging sexy. I pull back and jerk his shaft hard and fast while catching my breath, then keep up, doing everything I know he likes. Garrus lets go, growling and moaning and praising me and telling me how good I make him feel. He pairs that with calling me a slut, with degrading me, with filth that makes me feel incredibly sexy. 

And then he cums hard, calling out my name roughly and filling my throat. I swallow it all, worshipping him as best I can. 

"Oh, my love," he whispers when I release him, rubbing his thumb over my now-swollen lips. "You wanna come up here and fuck me?"

I try to get to my feet so quickly that I nearly lose my legs and I don't care, throwing myself into his arms and kissing him deeply. Garrus moans into my mouth, the heat of his body and pace of his breathing the only signs that he's been affected at all while I feel completely wanton and needy. 

"I'd love for you to get naked for me," he murmurs, breaking our kiss to lick down my throat while he speaks. "But I'll understand if that's too much. I don't want you to be uncomfortable." 

The idea excites and terrifies me, like most things with Garrus. I look around, finding nothing but stars and silence around us. I could scream and no one could hear me but... "You're sure no one else is coming out here?"

"All the years I've been coming here, no one else has come that wasn't here for me," he tells me. "And my family doesn't know about this place, not even Solana. But I can't promise you that it won't happen, no." He pulls me in for another kiss. "I'm happy either way, baby, you know that. All I need is you." 

"I know." Knowing that gives me the confidence I need to do what I really want if I can ignore my brain and the fear. Before they can come back to me, I pull my shirt off and toss it onto the hood beside him. My bra follows, and Garrus's eyes flash beautifully before he pulls his own shirt off and adds it to the pile that's about to keep growing. Our shoes join the pile next, then pants, and then we're both naked. 

We stand a couple feet apart, stripped down in the middle of nowhere, exposed and alone all at once. I take the opportunity to look at him, soaking in the way the moonlight makes the plates and tattoos on his body stand out. "You're beautiful," I tell him, eyes scanning his muscles and his cock and the long length of his entire body. He's so very different from me, different maybe from what I'm supposed to be attracted to, but I've never seen anything I want more. 

"Thank you," he murmurs. "And you, my love..." He shakes his head and lets out a breath that sounds shaky. "You take my breath away. You're exceptional. I am so lucky." 

"You're about to get lucky." 

He laughs at my cheesy joke, a thinly veiled attempt to hide my blush, and pulls me back into his arms. I'm grateful for the heat now that even the breeze doesn't make my naked body cold, and Garrus's hands are hot as they travel what feels like everywhere.   
"Turn around, baby." I obey quickly, Garrus gripping my ass and then bringing down a ringing smack that echoes in the night. "I want you like this, but you're still in charge. I meant what I said; I want you fuck me." 

God, I'm not sure there are sexier words anywhere in the galaxy. 

I want him now, so there's no teasing this time. I take his cock in hand, aim him where I need him, sink down slowly so that I can feel every long inch slip inside me. We've had sex hundreds of times at least and that never gets old. It also never stops being almost too much, and I need a moment to adjust to him stretching me. I roll my hips, and Garrus moans, his hand skimming my spine. 

"You're so deep," I pant, working my hips against him, lifting just a little to keep him there. 

"Mmm, I know." He's cocky, and I can't blame him, but I like to punish him for a little, so I lean forward enough to give myself some leverage and do exactly as he asked. I fuck him. 

My ass bouncing off his plates makes a fantastic sound out here, surpassed only tonight but the way Garrus growls my name while I take what I want from him. He doesn't hold back on me, rolling his hips while I grind against him, smacking my ass when he just knows I want it, tugging my hair lightly. He's active and making it clear who is charge even while letting me have control. He's perfect. 

"Like that," he growls, a request and a warning. I can feel him tensing, his cock swelling even more. I go harder, driving my hips back against him hard and fast until he grabs my hips and holds me flush. "Shepard, fuck, yes," he pants, spilling deep inside me. I lean back, against his chest, both of us panting while his head lands on my shoulder. 

"I love this," I tell him, reaching back to rub under his fringe and turning my face to nuzzle him. "You don't often let me take care of you." 

"Mmm. I really needed you tonight." 

I don't have to ask to know why or what that means because I'm feeling it, too. We're getting married soon, very soon, but we're also being split up. I like to believe it won't be for long, but not knowing makes it worse. I'm going to be away from him for an open-ended period of time, and the last time that we were apart, neither of us did well. 

I don't think I could have made it much more than those two weeks I was on the Normandy without Garrus after coming back. When I don't have him on my six, I don't feel safe, and this time, we have the Reapers breathing down our necks. Garrus keeps me grounded, keeps me sane, keeps me confident. I have to go back and face trial as Commander Shepard without the only person I've ever known who could lift the burden of being that person for me. I can't afford to get crushed under that burden, and I fear it. 

And Garrus... He is the strongest person I know, but a lot of that strength now is out of necessity. He has to be so strong just to keep going, to keep that darkness inside him at bay, to stay sober. He's stronger with me, I know that. It scares me to think that if I'm gone for too long, his own burdens will grow too heavy, and his demons will get a chance to overpower him. We're a team, we need each other and have come to rely on each other because we both believed that it wouldn't be necessary for us to need to be apart. We've counted that, on knowing that we'll have each other. 

Now, because of me - because of what I've done and the choices I made - we're not going to. Our team is being broken up, and no matter how strong we are right now, that's a threat to each of us and to us as a team. 

"Breathe," Garrus whispers, bringing his arms around me for a hug. Until he says it, I don't realize that I'd stopped breathing. I also didn't realize I'd started crying, but a sob breaks through my throat, and when I exhale, salty tears reach my lips. "Baby, no." 

"I'm sorry," I whimper. "I hate this. I hate leaving you." 

Garrus hushes me softly, managing to shift me so that he can pull out without releasing me from a hug. He guides me to turn around, grabs our clothes, and then pulls me to the car where he herds me into the backseat. There's a blanket back here in an emergency kit, and he wraps that around both of us while pulling me into his lap and against his chest. I still haven't managed to stop crying; I'm not even sure I can try. 

"I miss Monster," I confess against his chest. "I wish we were sleeping in our bed tonight. I'm scared that I'll lose myself when I have to listen to everything they're going to say about me. I'm scared that we're letting the whole galaxy down if we stop fighting. And I'm..." I fight for breath. "I'm scared you'll forget your meds or not care as much about them. I'm scared you...that you'll suffer waiting for me. I'm scared we'll be different, that we won't..." Some horrible sound leaves me and rocks through my body. "This is all my fault. I wish we'd never gone to Aratoht!" 

"Shh, Shepard, okay. Breathe for me, Shepard, just breathe." I shake my head, unsure that I can, but Garrus tightens his arms around me. "Come on, you can do it. Listen to me, breathe with me. Easy, baby." 

His heart thumps steadily under my ear, and I close my eyes to focus on it. He takes slow, exaggerated breaths for me to mimic, and even though it feels impossible at first, I eventually catch my breath and manage to settle. And then I hate myself. 

"I ruined this night for us." 

"No, you didn't. You ruined nothing," he argues, nuzzling my head. "I'm so grateful when you're honest with me about how you're feeling, especially now. I need to know, Shepard, okay?"

I nod and sniffle. "You can't change it, though. I feel bad telling you because I know you want to fix everything for me." 

"You're right, I do," he agrees with a chuckle. "And no, I can't change all of it. I can tell you, though, that Solana and I have a plan to make sure I can keep my prescription which means she'll be aware when I should need more pills. If something happens where I stop taking them, she can hold me accountable. I can..." He takes a breath. "I can tell someone about my sobriety. Dex or Solana. Maybe even my mom. And I can promise to jerk off a lot so I don't suffer." 

"Oh, God!" I laugh, the feeling entirely cathartic right now. It finally lets me take a real breath. I sit up a little to look at him. "You'd be comfortable telling your family, anyone in your family, about drinking?"

"Comfortable, no," he answers, honest at least. "But you're right, that's something we should be scared about. I know my limits when I'm missing you, and I might need help." 

I nod. Hearing him admit that, hearing that he knows that about himself, helps a little. I hate that I won't be the person here to protect him, but as long as someone is, that's enough for me. For a little while, anyway. 

He tucks a curl behind my ear. "I will suffer without you. The same way that you'll suffer without me. But it'll be because I don't have you, not because I don't have sex. I haven't wanted anyone else since we met, Shepard, and I regret everyone I was with without you. I don't want more of those regrets, ever. And I don't ever want to betray you. You know that, right? You trust me." 

That's not a question, and he knows it doesn't have to be one. I trust him more than anyone. 

"You told me once to stop trying to talk myself out of trusting you. I'm still learning that, I think." 

He leans forward to nudge my nose with his. "We'll keep working on it. I'll keep earning it. If we're different when this is over, baby, it'll be because we're stronger. There is nothing that can come between us if we don't let it. You understand me?"

I nod, then quickly add, "Yes." 

"You're not gonna let it, are you?"

"No. Never." 

"Good girl. Come here." 

I move into his kiss eagerly, holding his face with my hands and tasting my tears between us. His hands come to my face as well, and I feel him wipe my cheeks with his thumbs. Then his hands push back into my hair before one slides to my back. He pulls me against him and shifts to lay me back on the seat under him. A sense of safety sweeps over me when he covers my body with his. I need him, and I make sure he knows that with my body. 

Garrus reads all of my needs perfectly, filling me slowly and then driving me over the edge again and again until I'm limp and couldn't find the energy to cry or to even muster up fear. He fills me one final time before laying beside me on the seat. I laugh when I realize that the interior of the car has become completely fogged up, and I reach over my head to make a heart on the window. I put my initials and his inside them.

"Hmm. Given any thought to changing your initials?" he asks. 

"That was not subtle," I laugh at him. "But yeah, I've thought about it. And if you're comfortable with it, I'd really like to be Shepard-Vakarian." 

He takes a breath and then leans in to kiss me hard. "Perfect," he murmurs against my mouth. 

"Yeah? Because...it'd mean a lot to me if our kids could be Vakarians." 

"Oh, Shepard." He drops his head to my shoulder. "You can call them literally whatever you'd like so long as they're ours, okay? Spirits. You don't know what it does to hear you talk about our kids." 

I wrap my arms around him and hold him close. "I do know. Believe me, it does the same to me." 

"Good. Hey...how do you feel about becoming Shepard-Vakarian even sooner than you'd planned?" I frown, and when I don't answer right away, he lifts his head and laughs at my expression. 

"Is two weeks too long for you to wait?"

"Yes, honestly, anything longer than the next moment is too long. But that's not it. There's actually a holiday of sorts next week. We shouldn't do it then...unless you really hate the idea of doing it in one week instead of two." 

"Can I stay next week still?"

He laughs softly and kisses me even more softly. "Of course, my love. I'm not letting you go until I absolutely have to." 

"Then yes. Let's get married this week." A laugh escapes me. "Holy crap we're getting married this week." 

"Fuck yeah we are." I gasp when he thrusts shallowly inside me, and the moonlight shows off his mischievous grin. "Mmm." He growls, repeating the thrust and then grinding his hips against me. "My future wife is an excellent fuck, you know that?"

"Oh, yeah? What a coincidence since my future husband is excellent at fucking me." 

Garrus chuckles and rolls back on top of me. "I happen to know it's his most favorite thing to do." 

"Only when the Thanix is not around." 

Garrus laughs and kisses me. "You shut up now unless you're begging for my cock, how's that?" 

"That?" I moan when he strokes long and slow inside me. "Oh, that is perfect. So perfect, Garrus, yes." 

He growls and shifts to pull my leg up over his elbow, extending his reach inside me. One tiny little shift of his hips, and then he's hitting exactly where I need him. And the cocky bastard knows it. "That's right, baby, that's where you want it, huh?" 

"Yes...oh, Garrus." My spine arches, heat surging through me. "Right there, please." 

"Give it up for me, Elle. Let me feel you cum again, my love."

I can't disobey him, and I don't want to. I let go of it all, letting him take me over the edge into bliss with his name on my lips. Garrus moves harder, faster, for a few strokes until he snarls deeply and still inside me. I'm so full of him that I can feel his seed leaking onto my ass, down my thighs. I know when he pulls out, I'm going to be a complete mess. 

"Garrus?"

"Hmm?"

"Whose car did we just ruin?" 

He laughs and lifts his head from my chest to kiss me. "Mine. And if you ask me, we just made it that much better." 

He guides me to sit up, and then we both get dressed. It's not as easy for Garrus who is a lot bigger than me, and he ends up just climbing out of the car to get dressed instead. "You own a car that you can't get properly naked in, Vakarian? Geez." 

"I was younger when I bought this car and last drove it. Must have been shorter then." He winks, and I throw one of his own socks at him. Once we're dressed and back in the front of the vehicle, Garrus takes a deep breath and checks the time. "Everyone should be in bed. Ephram at least should be gone. You ready to go back?" 

"Whenever you are," I assure him. "If we don't go back, though, we definitely need to go somewhere for food." 

"Ah, fuck, I took you away from dinner and then didn't feed you," he groans, facepalming. 

"No, but you gave me a few orgasms, so we're good." 

Garrus laughs and rolls his eyes at me, his smile grateful. "How about we get home, get showered, and eat leftovers on the couch?" That sounds perfect, and he kisses me for telling him I think so. 

I want to ask about his brother, about what happens for the rest of our visit home. I want to ask about his dad's involvement in it, too. I thought Garrus was starting to make some progress on that front, that they were coming to find some common ground at least. But Garrus had a point at dinner; Ephram was out of line, and Castis didn't say a thing about it. That silence felt like agreement with Ephram, and that hurts. If it hurts me, I know it must really pierce Garrus. 

Garrus parks the car out front instead of back in the garage, and I don't know if that's for a quick escape or because he doesn't want to open the garage door. I don't question him; I know that he wouldn't mind explaining, but I don't really need the answers right now. I just need him to feel supported. 

He leads me inside by the hand, and though the house is dark, we can immediately hear a television playing in the living room. We have to head in that direction, Garrus's room just off the kitchen which is attached to the living room. He's tense but certainly not the way that he was when he left. And I'm grateful he's still holding my hand. 

We reach the living room to find his parents on the couch, snuggled up and rather adorable if someone like Castis Vakarian is capable of being adorable. He's extremely sweet and affectionate with his wife, who is now resting her head on chest and under a blanket at his side. 

"You okay, boy?" Cae asks softly. "We're glad you came home." 

She says 'we' but I know that Garrus is wondering if it's just her who is happy. 

"I'm fine, Mom. We're gonna shower and get some sleep." 

"You need dinner," she counters, sitting up slowly. She can move on her own, but Castis still has instincts to help her, and she doesn't seem to mind it. "Neither of you is going to bed hungry in my house. And..." 

She turns to pin Castis with a gaze. I don't need to see her face; his reaction to it says a lot. Castis takes a breath and says, "And we need to talk." 

Garrus takes a breath of his own but nods, then turns back to me. He presses his mouth to my forehead. "Go shower, get comfortable. I'll get dinner heated up for us, okay?" 

I'm not sure if he's sending me away because he wants me to smell less like sex in front of his parents or because he doesn't know what his dad will say and doesn't want me to hear it. When I think about it, it's probably just because it's late and he wants me to be comfortable. I lift up on my toes and kiss his injured cheek, then head for his room where I can shower. I trust him. 

*****

I watch Shepard go into my old bedroom and close the door behind her before continuing into the kitchen myself. I start pulling out what I'll need to heat dinner for us, glad that the meal Shepard made for dinner also makes for excellent leftovers, but my mom quickly joins and gets me out of the way. I know better than to argue with her, so I sit at the counter instead. 

"Whiskey?" my father offers, approaching with a bottle and two glasses. 

"No, thank you." He'll probably assume I just don't want to drink with him, and I have no real choice but to let him believe that for now. I'm not ready for that conversation with my father, not now. 

He doesn't argue and takes the seat next to me, silent until he downs a double whiskey for himself. Mom is watching him closely, and I know that she's silently pushing him to talk. And she's always been able to make him do basically whatever she wants; I understand how a lot better now that I have a bondmate of my own. There's nothing Shepard can't talk me into. 

"I have always tried to stay out of squabbles between you and your brother," my dad finally begins. "You're grown men, Vakarian men, and I'd prefer for you to learn how to deal with one another on your own." 

"Yeah, well - " 

"Garrus. Let him finish." I snap my mouth shut. My mom can make me do whatever she wants, too. 

My father is silent for another long moment. "I failed to see that the argument tonight was different. When it included Shepard, it became different. I wouldn't let anyone speak about a member of our family like that...and when I let him do it to Shepard...I sent the wrong message. I sent a message that I do not believe, that I would never endorse." He turns his head, not quite looking at me, but close. "Shepard is your bondmate, and that makes her family in the same way that Valera and Pia are our family. I should not have let him speak about or to her like that." 

"We're so sorry that you felt the need to leave the house, Garrus," my mom adds, emotional where my father was logical. "Especially with Shepard. She should always feel welcome here." 

Shepard clears her throat, obviously trying to warn us all that she's back, and I wonder how much she heard. Quick shower; she was worried about me. 

"Come here, my love." I hold a hand out to her, giving her a smile so that she'll know we're all good, and Shepard accepts it quickly. I pull out the seat beside me for her, taking the opportunity to inhale her clean scent. "My dad was just telling me that he plans to take his belt to Ephram's ass for what happened." 

Mom barks out a laugh, and my father scoffs but is definitely trying to hide a smile. "I said nothing of the sort. I retired from needing to dish out that sort of thing decades ago." 

"Well..." 

I watch my parents exchange an absolutely horrifying glance, blue creeping up my mother's throat, and bile surges up mine. "Oh, Spirits, no! No, absolutely not. Hello, I'm right here, you keep that nasty stuff private thank you." 

Both my parents are amused by that, and my bondmate is trying her best not to laugh at me. I narrow my eyes at Shepard in a promise to dish out that sort of thing if she needs it, and she sticks her tongue out at me playfully. 

Bowls appear in front of us. "Now that you're home and fed, we're going to bed." My mom meets my gaze with serious eyes. "Are we okay?"

"Mom, me and you are always okay," I remind her, catching her hand on the counter for a squeeze. "And yes. We're okay." 

My dad goes so far as to pat my shoulder, and then they leave to head up to bed. I hear my mom's laugh on the way, and it makes my heart skip even while I never want to know what my dad says to make her giggle. I focus on my girl instead and take both our bowls to the living room. We snuggle under the blanket, eat the incredible meal that Shepard made, and watch the last hour or so of the nonsense my parents were watching. Considering how I felt a couple hours ago, the peace in my chest right now is exceptionally welcome. 

There's still tension. We're not home, we're barreling toward Shepard leaving, and I know how scared she is. I share her fears, and she knows that. But I feel welcome where we are tonight, and good things are going to happen for us in the next two weeks. We have some darkness looming ahead, but that just means we need as much light as possible right now. 

I'm not going to pretend that this is going to be easy, but I know the distractions of wedding planning will help. And nothing can overshadow marrying Shepard in my mind. We go to bed focusing on that, on the good that we have ahead of us. We need to get past a couple pretty terrifying obstacles, but Shepard and I have a lifetime for all the good that's waiting for us. And I'm going to give it all to her.


	3. Nights Apart

"You know, if I sit on you, they can't take you away from me." 

I look at Garrus and pat my lap, inviting him to climb on and do just that. Garrus smiles and hugs me closer, nuzzling into my hair. I don't want to leave him either. 

I probably should have realized that bachelor/bachelorette stuff would need to be dealt with eventually. I knew that was part of Turian traditions as well. Maybe part of me thought that if I didn't think about it, didn't talk about it, everyone would forget. But our friends did not forget, and now I have to spend an entire day and night away from Garrus. 

His family has a tradition of camping for a bachelor party. He's going with his brother, father, nephew, Joker, Jack, and some of his friends. Bonding, they say, before the guy is married and spends his time on his partner. Garrus objected loudly when it was announced last night that they're leaving today; we're about to have to spend an unknown amount of time apart, so forcing extra time on us just seems cruel. But no one is hearing any of that, and we've been guilted into accepting by the people we love, people we do want to bond with. 

Solana has organized a few things for us, apparently. There's an Asari-run spa on one of Palaven's moons, and I've gotten just a shortlist of the services she booked. I have to admit, it sounds like an extraordinary way to spend the day. But I know I'll spend it all thinking about Garrus and wishing he were with me. 

We're getting married tomorrow, and we aren't going to spend tonight together. 

Cae assures us that it'll only make our wedding day, our wedding night, more special if we miss each other. I don't think Garrus ever wanted to snap at his mom before that. We're resigned to do this now, but we skipped out early on breakfast to sit on the swing on the porch alone. This swing has become my favorite spot in the Vakarian home. 

"I want our home to have a porch and a swing," I tell him. "Can we do that someday?"

"Someday, when we stop living on starships? Sure." I laugh and roll my eyes even though I'm not looking at him. I'm sure he knows that I'm doing it. His arms tighten around me, and I feel his head rest on mine. "I will give you anything you want, Elle. Whatever I can." 

"You don't have to keep sweet talking me, big guy, I'm marrying you tomorrow." 

He laughs. "It really is tomorrow, huh? Shit. Better tell Solana to keep a good eye on you, make sure you don't take a chance to get the hell out of here." 

"I could have just airlocked you from the Normandy if I really wanted to get out of this, you know." I look up at him, impossibly blue eyes shining back at me. "Does this whole thing feel totally surreal to you? It feels like we just met, and then things were...rocky, to say the least." 

"Yeah, rocky is putting it mildly." He smiles softly and shakes his head. "I had this weird, nonsense confidence that we were going to end up together. Even when you left, even though it hurt...I just knew. It wasn't the end for us. I don't know, I...I think part of me didn't...end things on Omega because I still believed that. Because part of me just knew you were somewhere in the universe, and I needed to wait." 

I shift so that I can take his face in my hands and press my forehead against his. "I had to find you, the moment I woke up. I don't think it was the nightmares or being alone or anything that kept me up except that you weren't on the ship, you weren't with me. No one could find you, but I had to." My fingers graze the wounded side of his face lightly. "And then I immediately thought I lost you." 

"There was a moment while you were on Aratoht where I really thought I was losing you again, too. I couldn't..." He winches and shakes his head, and I don't need the words. I remember that rocket hitting him, the pool of blood around him, how cold he felt. "I'm choosing to believe that I really can feel you. That I was feeling you, somehow, while I was on Omega. So that I'll know while you're on Earth if..." 

"Nothing is going to happen," I tell him. "I'm not going to let anything keep me from you again." 

He nods, but we both know it's just words. We're staying positive, but anything could happen. The Reapers could happen. 

"You still want to start the shots after next week?" he asks, bumping my forehead and then shifting to nip my jaw. One of his hands moves to my stomach, then slides around to my ass. 

"I do," I assure him. "Chakwas thinks it'll take a couple weeks for everything to click on, and I don't want my first period in like fourteen years while we're saying goodbye or I'd start them sooner." 

"Planning on a fun goodbye, are you?" he murmurs, running his mouth to my ear and nipping the lobe. A gasp escapes me, and I have to cling to him. I hate that word, I know he hates that it's going to be goodbye, but I know us well enough to know that we'll make the most of it. And we'll be married. 

I can't help a laugh. "I really can't believe I get to marry you tomorrow." 

"I really can't believe I have to miss you tonight," he groans, tugging my head back by my hair to lick a hot line up my throat. "I should have fucked you at least once more this morning; it wasn't enough." He squeezes my ass in that big, strong hand and growls, heat surging through my veins. 

"Garrus, we're going to get interrupted when they all show up, you know that," I warn him even as I find the spot under his fringe that gets him going. 

"Let 'em watch." 

I laugh and push him away a little now. "I would be tempted if it wasn't your family and our crew. No thank you, leave my shirt on." 

"Fine, just take your pants off," he teases, pulling me back against him. When I laugh, his talons shift to my waist, and Garrus reminds me that his knowledge of my body isn't just sexual. I hate that he knows I'm ticklish as much as I love it, and I end up in his lap, breathless from laughter. Garrus finally relents and just holds me, resting his head on my shoulder so that I can hold him, both of us smiling. "I'm really gonna miss you tonight." 

"Me too, lover." 

I can hear a car approaching and know that our time is coming to an end. He's about to be taken from me, even if it's just for a day. 

Garrus lifts his head, surprising me with a dangerous little grin. "You have headphones, right?" I nod. "Make sure they're out of your bag and accessible tonight. I'll be calling you as soon as I'm alone...and you need to be alone too." 

Now that danger in his grin makes a lot more sense, and it makes me a lot hotter, too. "Oh, really? Are we finally going to try what I've wanted to since the first time I heard your voice on the comms?"

"Don't I always give you what you want?" He swoops in to kiss me, nipping my bottom lip, and doesn't release me even as the cars pull up. I don't complain, and I certainly don't try to resist him. I have no interest in being away from him...even if he did just give me some incentive to look forward to tonight. 

Which of course is why he mentioned that right now at the last possible moment. 

"God, I love you," I whisper against his mouth. 

"I love you, kid. Can't wait to marry you." 

"Spirits, I swear I've never come across you two when you weren't all over each other," Dex informs us. 

Tali's familiar giggle makes me smile. "I've come across them about a hundred more times than you, and I feel the same way." 

Garrus rolls his eyes and kisses me one more time before we move to stand, facing our moment of truth. It's weird to see Jack, Tali, Kasumi, and Joker now after being around only Turians for a week - especially since I can see that Jack and Joker are covered in the lotion I've been forced to wear. Apparently, we all look very damn shiny down here. Of course, the Turians down here are kind of shiny, too. There's a sheen to Garrus's plates now that Palaven's sun has had more opportunity to warm him. 

We approach our friends, greeting them, as another car pulls up. Pia gets out laughing, followed by familiar faces that finally brighten Garrus a little. I reached out to his friends on the Citadel to see if they could come down early, and Garrus was pretty thrilled when he heard. I got several fantastic gratitude orgasms for the effort as well. 

"Honestly never thought I'd be coming back to Palaven for this," Orbin teases, pulling Garrus into a hug while Thera holds me close. 

"No one is more surprised than me," Garrus assures him. 

"Hey, pretty lady." I turn to find a familiar, welcome face, and happily move into Tarquin's arms for a hug. He rocks me a little, and I get some comfort from knowing that he and Orbin plan to stay after the wedding and after next week. They're going to work with Garrus - work for Garrus - to get Palaven ready for the Reapers. I'm not supposed to think about that this week, but I can't help it. And if nothing else, I know Garrus will have friends. 

"You'll keep him safe for me, right, Tarq?"

He looks down at me, and his smile softens into something sadder. He knows that I don't just mean tonight. Tarquin taps my nose with his talon. "We'll do our best for him, I promise. He's better than ever with you, though, so you just make sure you get back here for him." 

"I will." He squeezes me again, then releases me to Orbin who tugs me into a tight hug. 

"You okay, sweetheart?" he murmurs. I know that Garrus told all of them what's going on, why we're getting married so soon and why I'm going back to Earth alone. I was worried that at least some of the people we know would feel more like the Alliance and the Batarians, but we've had none of that, especially not from his closest friends. 

I sink into Orbin's hug, thinking that it feels fitting he's a dad. This is a dad hug. "No, but I get to marry him tomorrow, so I'm focusing on that." 

"Good," he laughs, "you should be." 

The next hand that grabs for me is familiar, and I let Garrus spin me right into his chest where I cling to his back and take a deep breath. He smells even better here, more like himself. 

"I want you to have fun today, kid," he breathes in my ear. "You can take that as an order if you need to. Go get real relaxed, I'll call you tonight for some fun, and tomorrow..." He pulls back enough to look me in the eye and flashes an absolutely stunning smile. "Tomorrow, I get to make you mine." 

"Don't you know by now? I've always been yours." 

I get lifted right off my feet and kissed for that, and when he puts me back down, my head is spinning. It's a good way to have to get released from his arms, if there is one. And at least Solana comes right up behind me, putting her chin on my shoulder and watching the guys gather into their cars to head off for a trip. 

Jack throws her bag into Garrus's car and throws me a dirty look. "My very first bachelor party, and we're not even getting strippers." 

"That isn't my fault," I remind her, holding my hands up with my palms out. "I'm not saying I'm upset that there won't be strippers, but it's not my fault." 

"You should have stayed with us for strippers, Jack," Solana teases. 

As I'm sure she expected, Garrus whips around and glares at her. "What did you say?" 

"Oops, sorry, we gotta go!" Solana chirps, tugging me away with her and motioning for our group to get into the other cars. I laugh, catching sight of Dex pulling Garrus into his car while Garrus tries to get Solana to tell him that there won't be strippers where we're going. "Spirits, it was never easy to rile him up before you, Shepard," she laughs as we get into the car. 

"I'm so glad I can help you torture him, Sol.” 

In reality, I'm just trying my best to get any interest at all going about today. We've spent most of our week apart, wedding planning taking an excessive amount of time that I was not prepared for, but at least we had nights together. Sleeping away from Garrus tonight isn't going to be easy. I have to hope that the spa day Solana has planned is enough to relax me so that I'm at my best for my wedding tomorrow. 

Holy shit, my wedding is tomorrow. 

*****

The last time I went camping with my family, I was fourteen, and Ephram was marrying Valera. I don't know how exactly this became a bachelor party tradition for the Vakarians, but I know that my father did it with all of his brothers and now with the three of us. I also know that Solana plans on getting a camping trip of her own when she gets married, being the only girl born to my dad. And my dad isn't about to deny her, I know that already. 

It's a good time. I like camping, being out in the open with little technology and little of the world to burden me. But without Shepard tonight and knowing that after next week, she's leaving me, nothing is relieving that burden. I'm trying not to be resentful that my father and oldest brother insisted on this tradition knowing what's coming with Shepard, but my mom reminded me that not only am I over thirty, but I've been away for a long time. They have a right to be excited and a reason to have missed me. I have duties as part of the family, and they're not exactly asking me for the world. 

And it's not like I have to pretend all day that I enjoy the company. Dex has always been my role model, and I'm still like a little kid when it comes to spending time with him. My dad is a lot better than he used to be, and it's kind of nice to spend time with him when we're not fighting. I love having Jack and Joker around, especially off-ship where they have even fewer filters than usual. Orbin and Tarquin are the icing on the cake, two of my oldest friends for a good reason, and they already know everyone else, so the group works as a whole. Plus, I'm sure Shepard enjoyed her day at the spa. And now that it's getting late, I'll get privacy to call her soon. 

"So." Dex sits down next to me, handing over a mug of hot tisane. It's not exactly cold out, but the breeze does cool at night, so the warmth is comforting. And I appreciate that he's not offering me alcohol even though we haven't had that conversation yet. Maybe he's just caught on and I can avoid it. Now, he's smiling at me about something, though. "You nervous?" 

The question makes me laugh. "That she'll come to her senses and just not show? Yes, damn nervous." I shake my head and look down into the mug. "About marrying her? Not even a little." 

"Good man," he murmurs, patting my shoulder. "But she's definitely going to show. That girl is crazy about you." 

"Spirits know why," Orbin teases. 

Tarquin and Jack give me almost identical grins, and I know that they both want nothing more than to make a joke about my dick. Fortunately, they have enough brains not to do it in front of my father. 

I nudge my brother's shoulder. "Bunch of married men here. Got any advice?"

Joker laughs. "My dad used to recite 'happy wife, happy life.'" 

"Truer words have never been spoken," my father chuckles. He smiles fondly into his own mug, the look that he only gets for my mom appearing on his face. The man has about a million flaws, but the way he loves my mother is incredible and something I actually want to copy him on. 

"Remember that she's your partner," Orbin advises, poking at the fire between us. Jack and Joker seemed inordinately excited that Turians light campfires too. It makes me concerned to think of what humans learn about us. "That'll be easier for you two, I think, but it's important. You're a team." 

That's something Shepard and I say all the time, something we set as a goal. Hopefully he's right and that means it'll be easier for us. 

"You're gonna laugh, but don't neglect sex," Dex says. "It's easy to fall into a routine, you know, especially if you're traveling apart for work. Make sex a priority; you don't want to lose that intimacy." 

Tarquin snorts into his cup. "Garrus has never neglected sex." 

I throw a rock at him for it, missing on purpose, but I take the advice seriously. Dex and Pia have seven kids and have been married since I was a kid myself; he's obviously doing something right. And there may come a time when Shepard and I work separately, especially since she's a Spectre and we don't know what's in my future yet. I don't ever want her to feel neglected or like a routine. I'm certain I'll always find her the sexiest person in the galaxy, and I'll do my best to make sure she knows it. 

"You two want to be parents, right?" my dad asks. 

It's not entirely a question, asked as though he already knows the answer, which is a relief because I'm not quite ready for that announcement yet. I think Shepard and I would both rather wait until we're sure we have news to share on that front. We're having enough trouble not getting our hopes up. I nod, and he echoes it, that answer enough. 

"Shepard, when she becomes a mom, is going to prioritize your children," he tells me. "No matter how much she loves you, she'll love your children more than anything - and that's how it should be. It'll be that way because she'll be a wonderful mom." I have to swallow a lump in my throat at that, and I'm grateful he keeps talking so I can hide it. "Make sure that while she prioritizes your kids, you prioritize her. She'll deserve to be first on someone's list, and it needs to be yours. Make sure she knows it." 

"Wow. I like that," Orbin notes, a fairly new father himself with a toddler and a baby. I like it, too. It's extremely thoughtful advice from a man who only ever spoke to me about marriage as a duty, a responsibility. Maybe it's different since I'm marrying my bondmate. 

"You want my advice?" Jack asks, grinning at me. 

I laugh. "Sure, Jack. What do you got?"

"Shep's favorite thing about you is that you're her best friend. You guys laugh together constantly, right?" She shrugs. "You want Shepard happy, never let that go. Stay her best friend, whatever else you guys become." 

"Well damn," Dex laughs. "I like that." 

"Me, too. Thanks, Jack." She just waves me off, about as good with praise as I am, but I truly appreciate it. I know Shepard says things to her friends that she wouldn't necessarily say to me or at least in a different way. I do the same, and I think it's normal. But that insight - that Shepard loves that we're best friends - is important. It makes me feel good, too. We were best friends first, so I love hearing that's remained just as important to Shepard as it has to me. 

"You're going to be fine," Joker says, waving his hand in the way that he does when he's talking about whether or not he can handle the Normandy in bad conditions. "You and Shepard are the most obvious thing I've ever seen. Even when you were both being stupid about it, I knew." 

"Did you guys have a bad start?" Dex asks. 

I wince, forgetting that he doesn't know, and Joker barks out a laugh. "They spent a whole year trying not to want each other or some shit. It was goddamn painful to live with them." He gives me a grin. "This asshole nearly let her get taken by someone else - and Shepard didn't even want that guy!" 

"Oh, son," my dad mutters, shaking his head dramatically while the others laugh at me. 

"Yeah, yeah, I know it," I admit. "We were stupid back then, but we learned our lesson. Only took Shepard dying for both of us to get our shit together." 

"Shit, she really did die, didn't she?" Orbin shakes his head. "We hear about Commander Shepard all the time, everyone has. But it's kind of hard to wrap your head around how honestly impressive she really is." 

"She's more impressive than you think she is," I tell them, always happy to brag about my girl. "I've never seen anything like her in battle. Hands down the best strategist I've ever seen, it's incredible." 

"The Alliance doesn't give her nearly the credit that it should," Joker adds. "She should be way heavier medaled than she is. And just a Commander?" He scoffs. "That's bullshit." 

It's sweet to see him so fired up about it, especially against his Alliance. 

"Why is that?" my father asks, the question innocent.

I shrug. "Shepard knows that some of it is because she's a woman, and humans are really heavy on the sexism. She's told me about men who were promoted ahead of her, even promoted after missions that she led." 

"Even as a Spectre?" Tarquin asks. "Isn't she still the human's only one? That should count for something." 

"It'll count when Shepard eventually tells the Alliance to go fuck themselves and just works for the Council." 

I laugh at Jack. "The Council screws her too, we all know that. And don't say shit like that to Shepard, not right now," I warn her. "This is hard on her, turning herself in and holding Aratoht like a burden. But she's doing what is right, and she needs her family to support her." 

"I only bitch to you about it," Jack promises, rolling her eyes at me. 

"Same goes," I assure her, grateful that I can and raising my mug in a toast to one of my closest friends. She returns it and even smiles a little while taking a sip of her beer. 

My father takes a breath and lets it out in a sigh that I recognize. He's about to call it a night for all of us, since we're up early tomorrow. And that means I get that privacy I've been waiting for. That means I get my girl back. 

*****

I really should be able to go more than a few hours without him. A few hours is being really generous with myself. The moment Solana drove us in the opposite direction that Dex was driving Garrus, my heart sunk. 

I had a great day. The spa that Solana took us to was exceptional; I've never had a professional massage, but I can say with certainty that I'll be making a point of doing that again. They also had a hot tub which is truly a unique joy, and my skin has never been softer after some amazing smelling scrub they gave us. The company was excellent, too. I spent most of the day laughing and smiling, enjoying good food and friends at home after the long spa day. 

But there's a constant awareness hanging over me that something is missing. Someone. It's like my skin doesn't fit quite right without Garrus around. I can be genuinely happy, of course, but it's not as happy or as fully consumed by happiness as I can be with him here. And the closer we get to bedtime, the later the night grows, the heavier that awareness becomes. I do not want to go to bed without him. 

Cae's hand lands on my knee and she squeezes gently, giving me a smile that tells me she knows what I'm thinking about even before she starts speaking. "Spending the night apart isn't going to be easy considering you live together," she offers. "But I appreciate you keeping the tradition and giving us this time to spend with you." 

I cover her hand with mine. I've got my knees pulled up beside me on the loveseat which I'm sharing with Cae, along with a blanket. She always seems to have a blanket on and something about that is just so damn cozy. 

"I truly have enjoyed today and this evening," I assure her. "It's been wonderful." 

"But you miss him," she adds knowingly. 

"I miss him." I can tell that makes her happy, and in a way, I guess it makes me happy too. Missing him has to be a good sign about him, about us. It's going to make being on Earth hell, but I'm choosing to believe that it means we're going to have amazing years ahead of us. I'll miss him when I need to so long as I'm always happy to get back in his arms. 

"Think about it, though," Solana says, beaming at me from her seat on the floor in the Vakarian's living room. "The next time Garrus sees you, you'll be walking down the aisle toward him." 

"In that amazing dress," Kasumi chimes in. I absolutely love how comfortable Kasumi and Tali look in his house. 

Pia grins at me. "Garrus has a pretty amazing suit, too. I think you'll be very pleased." 

"Garrus literally never looks bad. It's infuriating sometimes," I laugh, the others joining me. I am looking forward to seeing him in his wedding suit, though. It'll certainly feel real then, when I'm walking down an aisle toward him. A warm feeling rushes through me, bringing butterflies to life. I'm marrying him tomorrow. 

"Are you nervous, Shepard?" Tali asks. 

"A little," I admit. "The ceremony is kind of intimidating." 

We've created our own ceremony, really, combining Turian and human traditions. Admiral Hackett is arriving in the morning to perform the human part, and I know that he didn't just agree because he thinks I'm angry with him about the charges; he was truly honored to be asked. I found out yesterday that Garrus asked Adrian Victus, Tarquin's dad and a very high ranking member of the Hierarchy, to perform the Turian part of the ceremony. Garrus has always considered the Victus family like his own, so that feels special too. But it's all a bit complex, thanks to a new thing planned that Garrus doesn't even know about. 

"Just the ceremony?" Valera asks kindly. She's nothing like her husband when it comes to how they treat me. "It's normal to be nervous about the marriage too; Garrus's family won't hold that against you." 

I laugh and shake my head. "I'm...nervous about some things. I think Garrus is pretty amazing, so being his partner is...well, I just want to do right by him. But I'm not nervous to marry him. I don't think I've ever been so sure about anything." 

"Well, he sure took his time asking you," Tali teases. "Do you know how long he had that ring before?"

"No, and I don't want to! He drives me crazy sometimes. I can't believe he waited at all." 

Cae laughs. "I think you're the only thing I've ever seen him not be completely confident about. That's how I knew he really was crazy about you the first time he told me about you, before I knew he'd bonded. You actually make him nervous." 

I consider telling Garrus that people think I make him nervous. I'm sure he'd make a claim about his confidence - and his cock - that we would both enjoy. Not that Garrus is much known for caring how people see him or what it means; he really is one of the most confident people I've ever met. Except in private. And I'm more than happy keeping his insecurities between us until they're gone altogether. 

As if he knew that I'd be thinking about him - or maybe that he knows I always am - my Omni-Tool dings softly with a specific sound set for Garrus. I love the way my heart skips at just knowing I have a message from him.

*Get to bed soon, my love...I'm finally alone...and I miss you.*

*I'll try! I miss you, too.*

*Try? Well...I guess I'll TRY not to get started without you.* 

*SOON!* 

I can almost hear him chuckling in that cocky way when he knows he's gotten what he wants from me, when he knows I'm eager for him. Especially tonight when I'm getting to fulfill a huge fantasy of mine. As much as I've enjoyed today, I'm ready for it to be over so that I can get to bed with my guy, even if he's not here.

"We need to be up early in the morning with guests coming in and for final preparations," Cae announces. All the Vakarians have excellent timing, I think. Although I wouldn't put it past Garrus to have messaged his mother and asked if I could go to bed now. 

I try not to seem too eager in saying goodnight, and I'm grateful again that Dex and Pia offered space in their home to let Tali and Kasumi crash with them. Tonight is not the night for a sleepover. Since I'm the only one who sleeps on the main floor of the house, I wait for them all to disappear and then all but run into the bedroom off the kitchen. I ditch my sweatpants, jump into bed, and call Garrus the moment I'm under the blanket. 

"Hey, kid," he answers quickly. That melted chocolate voice is like a balm to my soul. 

"Hi, big guy. I really miss you," I admit. 

"Me, too, Elle." I can hear the truth of that in the way he sighs, that familiar relief that I felt as soon as he answered. "How was your day? Have fun?"

I smile and snuggle up to the pillow that smells like him. "I did. I've never had a real massage before, and I was unaware that they're so fantastic. We had a great day. How about you?"

"It was good. Been a long time since I've been camping; it's a good time. And I got some marriage advice that I think will be useful." 

"Oh, yeah?" I laugh. "I didn't think you needed advice. What did they say?"

"I'm not telling! Trade secrets." 

I laugh with him, rolling my eyes even though he can't see it. I have a feeling that he knows I did it anyway. "So you guys are sleeping in tents? I hope you're at least alone." 

He chuckles, and it occurs to me then that he's speaking fairly softly. "Yeah, I'm alone. Turians make a point of getting space from each other if we can. Those super senses you complain about aren't always fun." 

"Are you saying you don't want to hear your dad calling your mom?"

"Shepard!" he hisses. "Don't put shit like that in my head, Spirits. It's bad enough my mom made a fucking spanking joke a few nights ago." I have to cover my mouth to keep the whole family from hearing me. "Keep it up. I'll take a car, come home, and spank you." 

"That is not an incentive for me to stop when I'm missing you like this, Garrus." 

"Mmm. You know I'm missing you too, baby. I'd never sleep away from you if I could help it. But maybe we can make tonight more fun?"

Just the playful tone of his voice is enough to get me excited, a heat pooling low in my stomach. "What did you have in mind, big guy?"

"Grab those headphones, baby." I snag them from the table by the bed where I put them earlier to prepare for this and connect them wirelessly to my Omni-Tool. I don't use them often for calls, only music, so I'm surprised by the quality when Garrus speaks again. "Can you hear me?" I feel surrounded by his voice, raspy and soft, that chocolate tone going right through me. 

"Oh, I like this," I tell him, snuggling back under the blanket. 

"Yeah? You know how much I like giving you what you like," he purrs. "Tell me what you're wearing." 

I wish I could give him a sexier answer; I probably should have thought about this. "Just one of your t-shirts and panties." 

"Just? I think you're incredibly sexy in my shirts," he tells me, and I can tell he's being honest by the tone of his voice. It's getting deeper, and that simple thing is enough to get me breathing faster already. "The collar sits so low that I get just a glimpse of your breasts almost every time you move. Love being able to slip my hand in there and play with your nipples. They're so sensitive. They're getting hard already now, aren't they?"

"Yes." My voice is breathy, husky, and it surprises me. 

"Mmm. Go ahead and touch them for me, baby. Slide your hands up your shirt." He pauses, but I don't hesitate to follow his orders, closing my eyes and soaking in his voice. "Roll your nipples in your fingers...pull them real slow, the way you like it." 

I know he hears the gasp that leaves me. "I wish this was your mouth." 

"Oh, me too, Elle." I hear a rustling on the other side, like clothing or a blanket moving. "Does it feel good?"

"Mmhmm." I don't have a lot of experience with this; even when I've masturbated, I kind of skip the foreplay part with myself. It's easy to sink into Garrus's voice though, to follow his directions and do what I know he would with his fingers and teeth. 

"You're getting really turned on, aren't you, Elle? I can hear you breathing faster." 

"Yes," I groan, my back arching a little into my own hands. 

"Me too," he replies. I can hear him breathing heavier too now. "Fuck, you got me so hard already just thinking about touching you, licking that sweet pussy, feeding you my cock." He chuckles softly when I can't help a gasp. "You want it too, don't you?" 

"Yes, sir." 

"Tell me what you are." 

"Your little slut." 

He groans, and I can hear a sound that I know is his fist working his cock. The mental image is a fantastic one. "My perfect little slut, that's right." He lets out a long, low growl at the pleasure he's giving himself, and a shudder rips down my spine. I have the image of his big fist wrapped around that beautiful cock, the rough way that I know he jerks himself, fueling me. "Take your panties off, Elle." 

I get out of them eagerly and throw them aside, only a small part of my brain registering that I do not want to end up leaving panties laying around in here somewhere. 

"Put one of your hands between your legs," he purrs to me. "I want you to rub your clit nice and slow. Imagine my hands on you, my fingers dipping inside you. My teeth, my tongue on your throat while I rub your clit just the way you like it. Just like that, baby." My hips buck lightly, and he growls at the moan that leaves my throat. "Are you wet, my love?"

"Soaked," I confess, my fingers slick. "You always get me wet, so wet." 

"Mmm fuck, baby. Put your fingers inside you. I want you to fuck yourself." My thighs are trembling already, and I have to bite my lip to keep from crying out when I obey him. "Don't you cum until I tell you to. You know better." 

His voice is huskier now, his breath more ragged, so I hope I won't have to wait too long and curl my fingers toward the front of my body. The way he growls when I moan again is almost enough to do me in. 

"Just like that," he murmurs, panting. "Spirits, I want to be inside you. I want to kiss you, taste you, bite you while sinking into that perfect hot, tight cunt. I wanna make you feel so good, Shepard, wanna fuck you until you're screaming for me." 

"Garrus, yes. So good...your voice...you're amazing." 

"Love when you get hot for me. Rub your clit, baby. I want you with me." I can hear him getting more worked up, almost like he knows how I'm feeling - and of course, he does. He always does. He grunts. "I'm so close, baby. I'm gonna cum for you, Shepard." 

"Oh, Garrus. God, I'm with you," I breathe, hips arching and my whole body strung tight. 

"Yeah? That's my girl. Come on, baby, cum with me. Give it to me. Now." I manage to stifle most of my cry, but his name leaves me in a ragged way, and my body clenches around my own fingers before it releases me in a rush of pleasure. I hear Garrus growl out my name and then grunt rhythmically until he's clearly biting back a roar. It fades into both of us panting heavily. 

I need a few moments to get my senses back, and then my smile threatens to split my whole face. "Damn, big guy. That was...really hot." 

"Yeah, it was," he laughs softly. "You're unbelievable, you know that? I really underestimated how much my voice turns you on." 

"I've been telling you how sexy it is since we met," I remind him. I'm totally boneless and at ease now, the pillow that smells like him hugged against my chest and the blankets warm. I can't help a yawn, and I know Garrus hears it. 

"You have a big day tomorrow, my love. You should get some rest." 

That brings an even bigger smile to my best. "I get to marry my best friend tomorrow. So long as he shows up, that is." 

"Oh, I have a feeling he'll show up. He's pretty crazy about you from what I've heard." 

"Lucky me." I try and fail to stifle another yawn. "Will you stay on the line until I fall asleep? Is that stupid?"

I hear him take a breath that sounds shaky, and his voice is soft when he answers, "Of course I will, baby. I have you. Let me tell you about my day..." 

Garrus talks, soft and slow, while I fall asleep. My future husband's voice is the last thing I hear before falling asleep.


End file.
